Can you imagine what will happen when someone no shows this kid's wedding one day? Cause someone will. I pity that poor asshole.

AND ITS SO GOOD.

Maybe he was really into Beyonce that summer and THAT is the actual story here.

I was just about to ask for more information so I didn't have to hurt myself with the google and then you posted this and omfg.

I'm 60% on board with this. I love that they speak literally for themselves. I hate that they seem illiterate when they do.

Gawd, I get so Grammar/Spelling Police on celebs. I mean...fuck. Have one of your 26 assistants proof read that shit. ONE of them must have some sort of education.

In HI I believe it's always "shave ice."

I mean, my 35lb 3 year old tries to stand on our 45lb dog all the time. I make him stop immediately without taking photos or giving any other evidence that this might be ok behavior, but the dog is fine. (He's not standing on him full force or for an extended period of time, though.) And not for one minute would the…

watching golf is like watching paint dry. Well done, parents.

Mark, do you get to choose the stock photos? If so, slow clap. This one is perfection.

As a side note, my husband just informed we that we should buy a new couch since the cats and puppy have destroyed ours. Because apparently a new couch would repel them.

I'm seeing the words but all I can hear in my head is (neck roll) Ohkay? (Snap).

Last year I bought cheap paper.

You cannot anything but adore him. Or you are not a feeling person.

I totally think he didn't intend on it becoming as long as it did. And how many people actually open links?

I don't think that statement was even a little gracious. Passive aggressive? Uh, yeah. It's basically an eye-rolled, "we're dropping this to allow you to deal with the bigger powers that will totally make you change your labels. YOURE WELCOME REGULATORY AGENCIES. WE CALLED THEM OUT. "

No, we understand why you do it. I think our (my) issue is that we also get sweaty/uncomfortable. Most of the time our bras are pinching and our heels are giving us bunions and we'd love to just take the bitches off. Yet it's not socially acceptable for us to do any of that in a public setting. Especially at the…

OF COURSE IT IS.

I feel that way about most sauce. Mayo included. Must not think about it.

You really can't more often than that.