This is the face of a man who can’t figure out how a paperweight works.

“Oh, sure, it was the leather chair.”

Roger Goodell: [takes credit]

4th - Modern - Appliances

3 muffs in the stands? Jeter-esque.

He should have spent more time on the elliptical.

If knowingly exposing unwilling humans to hepatitis is a crime, TAKE ME TO JAIL

No love for Peyton? He made a great throw last Thursday that should be arriving any minute now.

Have none of you dickheads posted the thing for this guy?

Hmm...I think I still like this one better

The old beige traditionalist in me thinks the best way to finish off this guy would be with a little d.

I was going to say this, but you said it more succinctly and coherently than I could have done. I hate JerseyKid’s post. I hate it. I don’t hate JerseyKid — he’s my brother from the Garden State and we rise above the petty when shit gets real, natch — but I hate the post so much. On the surface it’s just…

Samer, in the event I ever wanted your two cents, I sure don’t anymore.

A simple, genuinely curious, “Do you ever think about having sex with other people?” should get the ball rolling.

Maybe not, but he started typing that tweet in August.

Is that a winky face, or did Jason lose his eye too?

Oh well, probably everyone here is a bunch of fucking Cubs and Cardinals fans

Boy, is he red-faced.

“...and also capable of shooting anyone who tries some shit in the face.”