Who has 1.47 thumbs and a $15 million guaranteed contract?

[sees horrible injuries inflicted on collie]

Well, I’m glad I didn’t take that guy in my survival pool this week.

Stop it, guys. You know damn well you just copy/pasted that from the last time Goodell spoke on the issue.

MAKE IT BRAIN!

You know what we would do in high school if someone sat on the other side of the field and wore the color of our cross-town rivals of 50+ years (which we won last night by 33 points)?

+1 complementary screening

My headset cutout each time you said shit.

“If they make mistakes, you know, it’s not like they’re professionals. They’re just amateurs. Kids, really. Young, young boys. So young, these boys. Anyway, what were we talking about?”

Mayweather: Bullshit, you don’t “spell” roaming numerals, idiot. That’s the Greek way of saying THIS many [holds up three fingers].

In a more logical NFL, rookie quarterbacks would not be expected to contribute. They could sit and practice and learn, perhaps for a couple of years, until they’re ready to step in.

“punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision routinely made in American sports”

Pierre-Paul: Can you believe it?! They’re trying to withhold six, count ‘em — *holds up both hands* — six paychecks!

Still better than UTEP’s new mascot.

This post was a test, and 90% of you failed.

I wouldn’t call them overalls as much as I’d call them around-somes.

I think that settles who will have the greatest legacy at quarterback.

This was not a point I thought I’d need to ponder today.

There’s no way this isn’t his O-face.