We don’t need DNA to prove that.

Did the DNA analysis confirm if he was a good boy?

Neither is particularly great for my blood pressure.

PLEASE INFORM SOMEONE TO TURN OFF THE DAMN AUTOPLAYING VIDEOS

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

+1. Also great handle, I love that movie.

Actually, it was DUBAYEWDUBAYEWELL

Ahh man, I was holding out for Quadruple GUMBO

Kind of shocked by this.

This, here. This is why I come here.

12. Actual dolphins, who didn’t sign up for this shit. 

Proposing a ballot measure that if Miami goes 0-16 no member of the 1972 Dolphins can ever drink another drop of champagne. 

Joule thief!

If this had happen during the Montreal portion of the Rays season, it would have been even more confusing because it would have all been in metric.

Really excited to watch this movie because I don't know who the fuck any of these characters are

Look, there’s only like four of us White Sox fans that hang out around here.  So could you please stop stealing my jokes before I think them up?

Hawk Harrelson Jr. is going to remember this very differently. 

Yaz kween!

The last time Trump was excited about carrying something 4.5 feet tall and 60 pounds, Ivanka was 9

To be fair, if the only time you ever hear the price of a beverage is at a major professional sports event, $20 for a gallon of milk is about right.