Nice to know that some parts of the internet are still fulfilling that promise of bringing people closer together to make life better.

I like his bit about being black-out drunk so often, and the one night where he ended up with more money than he had at the start. “That means I traded goods and/or services.”

I work at a government funded detox clinic. The clinicians keep mentioning that a lot more of the referrals they’ve gotten in the last year have been for alcohol rather than “hard” drugs. Rolling lockdowns and bottle shops that do home delivery have been a dangerous combination for a lot of people.

This is a much better gag to reference his work than mine, which was going to involve the “So I said no.  You know, like a liar” bit.

That struck me as well. And, uh, this fake movie is supposed to be a comedy? That sounds absolutely terrifying!

...Yeah, Ice. It’s the Special Addiction Unit.

Nah, I don’t get that vibe off of him. If he has skeletons in the closet, it’s probably something like him saying something super fucked up once when he was drunk.

It’s endlessly frustrating to see that things that can actually help people are still sidelined because it’s so much easier to make a “fix” that maybe targets one facet of a problem but still does nothing to tackle the underlying issues. Makes me think of how often we in queer communities put forward a list of stuff…

Coming this summer: Billy Crystal Crashes Movies.

What, am I supposed to do it with someone else’s? Come on!

“...When are they going to get to the cocaine factory?!” *grits teeth, pounds hands, cries manically*

Wait, Mulaney was addicted?

Oh I get it.

You mean like when someone drinks too much? Or snorts cocaine? Or bets the house on the ponies? Or when someone smokes too many cigarettes? Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards? Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries? Or like when someone eats…

I’d love a movie where Billy Crystal drifts from scene to scene frantically shouting his famous lines from other movies. Or, as the director might say, “Just act naturally.”

I literally laughed out loud at this line in the review:

I’m in recovery for cocaine as well, it’s hard because it can be very easy to hide if you fall off the horse at first until it’s not, so I’m always pretty transparent to people around me that recovery isn’t linear and that abstinence isn’t the goal for everyone even if that’s what works for me. I still sometimes have…

Reportedly he was sober during his stand-up specials and the SNL episodes people liked, and he was off the wagon during his weird chats with Seth Myers and the SNL episode people didn’t like as much.

They should have called this movie My ‘Gina.

Yeah, the gap is just too much. Crystal should be an a relationship with someone closer his own age, like Gheorghe Muresan.

Fortunately they canceled his show at the cocaine factory. 

I got my ticket. I’m not taking it as a good sign that has clearly been rolled and used to snort cocaine.