What IS it about trans people that makes idiots so hungry for their own feet?

I won’t be back until they fire Mikey Day.

“Phoebe Robinson (with Phoebe Bridgers as musical guest and a video short directed by and starring Phoebe Waller-Bridge)“

I don’t even know what that means. I know what the words mean separately, but I have no idea what it means to “stay trash”.

Who gives a shit? SNL is worse than ever, it’s like watching a middle school talent show every week. Every joke is the most obvious, undeveloped little thing you can imagine. Nothing has the slightest amount of bite. And I say that as somebody who watched religiously until about 3 years ago.

Hey, basically all of my friends who scored as high as I did are making great lives for themselves. I'm the exception, not the rule.

And then the slow realization that entire species would die out in one generation, being that animals with atypical types of chromosomes are typically very bad at reproducing.

This article, clear as mud with constant meanders and catchphrases? *Triple yikes.*

All recent personal buzz aside, Olivia Munn is one of the worst actresses in the history of major motion pictures.

We need a Borscht Belt revival era.

A lot of celebrities are erratic and unlikable, it's just more glaring when they traded on the "aren't I likable and normal?" phenomenon.

 > I’d venture to guess that Mulaney was not entirely on the straight and narrow even then (when he was making a universally acclaimed kids’ special) he just hid it (being gakked out of his head around a bunch of children) better.

Point to where I said nobody else would get better with practice.

He got ONE DAY on the job. He was not exactly top of the pack but I'm sure he'd do just fine.

Headbanging issues on coasters have actually been reduced a lot in the past couple decades, especially once they realized most rides don't need a giant over-shoulder restraint.

Is it just reading an article about Sean Penn that makes people humorless fucks or what?

“You only like coffee because you’ve chucked a ton of sugar into it.”

Dr. John would have been an amazing host. “Let’s put our peepers on the scat-a-rat-tategories for Double Jeopardy, babies.”

“John will be back tomorrow as our returning champion. So it's soupy twist from me..." 

About 10 million people a day.