I’m not a huge gun knower, but I assumed one reason it was so dumb is that he was pointing his gun inside the helicopter.

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That there are still firsts like this happening after 144 years and nearly 15 million at bats...just astonishing.

Little did we know that touching tribute would be the sum total of things that happened during the broadcast that made anyone feel...anything

Also, he only arrived at the stadium in the Halas cosplay, but didn’t wear it on the sideline? WTF?

Cris kept blaming starters for being rusty because they didn’t play in the preseason. It’s as if the NFL told Cris to push the point that starters aren’t playing in the preseason and that’s a bad thing. Frankly, I can’t agree with him less. Some of those starters were only IN the game because their ACLs weren’t torn…

Everyone picked the Bears...except Mike Tirico, and that was out of pity.

I thought that’s what I heard!

Joey Bats would be proud of that Canadian racket flip

I just wish they’d revise it to the actual Number of the Beast, 616.

But extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice!

Eight months? Goddamn, that’s like seven months and 29-30 days longer than the average dating period back in those days:

What do you mean, “what do you mean, ‘you people’?”

CRAB RANGOONS ARE BOOLCRAB

To be fair, Brown has been messed up in the head for a while now, we just don’t have the CT scans to prove it

“I hate the texture and smell of mayock, along with its inexplicable, eternal omnipresence in fucking everything.” —Drew, a couple days ago (IIRC)

I normally wouldn’t mention my fantasy football team but [gets pelted by laser-guided mushy vegetables]

Not as importantly: Why were pads so huge back then?

So is MLB going to switch difficulty back to “Normal”, or keep it on “Easy” next season?