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The level of physical and aesthetic precision that early hominids were capable of achieving was truly amazing.

Thank you for your question. There are some small risks associated with the procedure, as you were undoubtedly made aware of prior to implantation. One of the most common side effects is a short-term malfunction of the angular gyrus. This may account for your hominid's difficulty with minor calculations.

Thank you for choosing Hominid Quantitative Logistics Amalgamated for your hominid tracking and monitoring needs. For over twenty years we've been applying the latest technological solutions to the problems associated with hominid care. As such, we've developed the most sophisticated quantum database in the…

How do you say "Galdurnit, Crushinator!" in Russian? I guess we'll find out!

Thank you so much for that link.

Not to mention a theme by Duran Duran! Also, the scene where Max is using his computer to look up information about Bond while talking to Bond is fucking awesome.

Your rules are discriminatory against desperate and impatient people with no lives.

Spoilers are bullshit! Just when I thought Crito really had Socrates convinced, some asshole ruined it for me.

This affliction is alternatively known as "Philosopher's Palsy."

Perhaps the best way to solve this problem would be to recast the role. Instead of Depp, feature a small Japanese sword.

The Highlander/Renegade double-feature was USA's finest programming decision of the 90s (best promo ever at 30 seconds in!).

I was going to suggest it, but I really think it could only work as an animated series, and even then you're right, it would be a production nightmare. After all, the Spawn series did not do well on HBO, even though it was actually pretty cool. And I'm not sure that a decent network (somewhere that wouldn't quibble…

It's that classic progressive spirit—he'd feel bad knowing that he contributed to poor labor conditions in some arrowhead sweatshop!

Rather than imitating Marvel's success with the Avengers, DC should focus on developing their Vertigo titles as television series. How about:

You forgot about Kid Koriolys!

The difference is simple: baked goods. The Holy Spirit prefers airy, boring cake, tasteless wafers, and stale bread. Elves bake delicious cookies, shortbreads, and upon occasion, granola fudge bars.

I'm with you on that. Better Off Ted did not get the props it deserved!

I know! And it's really a missed opportunity, because I think a show—about the department heads—entitled Earth Executives Are Crazy would actually be way better.

ABC DEPARTMENT HEAD 1: