People keep saying this (with varying degrees of seriousness), but if I recall from my (one) abnormal psych class in college, sociopaths (diagnosed ASPD) tend to diminish in their sociopathy as they age. Thus, dudes in their 50s and 60s who would regularly murder hookers or stomp on annoying little dogs would be far…

She would have loved that title...*wipes away tears*

Would a documentary have counted? Because my dailies were looking pretty good before my cinematographer got eaten by a velociraptor.

Sweet mother of God don't put it into Burton's head to direct a version of Gaiman's take on A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Nancy Everhard! Yes! I was too lazy to IMDB it at the time, so I appreciate your fact checking. Also, Vanessa Williams is pretty awesome, so I'll add her to the list of acceptable candidates for my time travel favor #7. Good call!

I think I would accept that, were someone to build a time machine and offer to do me favor #7 on my list of time travel favors (#7: Recast the role of Storm in the X-Men franchise; alternatively, make it so Halle Berry never existed). Although I can't tell if you're being facetious...

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree on X2 (and though it is not here, I would not stand up for X-Men, either), mostly because I cannot figure out why they cast Halle Berry as Storm when IMAN LOOKS AND SPEAKS EXACTLY LIKE ORORO MUNROE! Ahem. Sorry about that.

I didn't even think of it, but you're absolutely right about The Crow—that movie is an entire epistemology wrapped in black leather and properly coiffed gothicism. Good call!

Well I, for one, am glad that you had a moment to put down your cultural studies reader and write such an on-point and well-reasoned response to my comment. Of course, I could be wrong—maybe you're not doing some last minute reading of Spivak for your seminar tomorrow. Maybe you're writing to me from the primitive…

Dear Canadian High School,

Given Bruce Wayne's financial situation, it seems more likely that he'd be a Soc. Somebody slap some madras on that Batman!

As a person from 3054, I object to this film's entire premise. Why would anyone want advice from someone who claims to be from 2054?! That was the era of the Fungaltarian Oligarchs (mushroom people + libertarian plutocrats = Fungaltarians).

GCS 515: The Dialectical Critique of Hipster Racism

While debating the merits of posting my own response to the absolutely idiotic farce that is an educated white person pedantically informing everyone about behavioral norms regarding racism, you wrote your stunning and far more eloquent response. And I thank you for it.

And yet a study conducted jointly by The Journal of Completely Exorbitant and Probably Unnecessary Price Schemes and Jargon Gouger's Quarterly found that if universities like Harvard paid but a small fraction more for their subscriptions then war, as we know it, would end. Pay up, you crimson bastards!

As you can clearly see, Boba Fett is trying to indicate that the person who shot him was Maggie Simpson.

Let's not forget the farcical marriage between Prince William and Catherine Middleton! Starting a war with Argentina because of a secret affair with a dance instructor who was actually Chilean? I'm not even sure how Prince William was able to do that! He’s not even a real head-of-state! And that last minute…

Oh, so now we're snarking on people who were the victims of random accidents and needed blood transfusions and were unlucky enough to receive irradiated blood?

As a womyn with a cistoned vagina I'd like to point out that this entire conversation privileges "natural" vaginas over "constructed" vaginas. Vaginas are performative; that is to say, they only exist because of the patriarchal language that calls them into existence with the violence of the speech act.

I call bullshit! This is pretty much the same letter I wrote to Hooters after I was fired from their wait staff!