Babies

Why Black Knights? Why not Las Vegas Knights? Now that I write it is sounds like an all-mall nude review at Excalibur.

Hahaha, ok, now I’m 100% positive that you’re a 14-year-old boy in a basement somewhere in Jersey.

Jet fuel can melt teams.

I want to point this out before it makes the rounds tomorrow. Skip Bayless, ultimate hot take asshat, who has made his name basically saying retarded shit like LeBron James isn’t a top 5 current player, is doing First Take for the last time on Monday. I haven’t watched the show in years, but I occasionally catch a…

Maybe he’ll go back to one of his classic targets.

I envision this article being written via copy-paste from the author’s past Vogue cover stories whilst fapping to Megyn Kelly’s most recent interview with Donald Trump.

Much like South Park, Schumer fearlessly tackles taboo subjects like incest and bodily excretions, except she’s a person, not a cartoon.

Oh man. Those were the best. I can only assume the show was cancelled.

I am grateful we have deadspin, as it gives us someone to watch this show so we don't have to.

HA! It’s still funny!

Great article, you only got the name of the show wrong four times. Thanks for really paying attention.

When the USMNT came under discussion

“All Takes Matter seems to be operating in the spirit of a student filling out an essay and changing the margins to reach the minimum number of pages”

PENIS

Whitlock looks like the shitty sax player in a lobby bar jazz band that insists on playing his nine minute solo.

a Laurel and Hardy routine from hell at best

Whitlock seriously looks like a penis wearing a fedora. Though I’m pretty sure an actual penis in an actual fedora would be able to provide more cogent and compelling arguments.

you’re my son & i love yuo

First Law Of Takes: A take shall remain in effect until its retraction is demanded by a more powerful organization.