Low hanging fruit is the sweetest fruit. Don’t you tell me what I am better than!

for something heinous, promoted to head coach.... 🔚

Probably no big deal. If it was something really bad, they would have made him keep coaching the Browns.

This is the best kinja. I mean this is the best ever kinja.

You buried the lede, Barry. There are several Marlins fans?

Drew is the clear choice for casting Goodell. DUH.

I clicked hoping to see the Deadspin staff acting the scene out.

Please let us know the first time a stranger yells obscenities at you for breaking up Kermit and Miss Piggy.

I didn’t even think of the terrier/hamster part of this but that is a VERY SERIOUS QUESTION THAT NEEDS ANSWERING.

Dallas is the stereotype of Texas the rest of the world knows and loathes. Whenever someone makes a jerk-off motion with their hand when Texas is mentioned, it’s because they’ve confused Dallas with the entire state. Fuck, Dallas sucks.

My computer doesn’t do Kinja stars, but for you, ALL THE STARS.

You are part of an ancient thing that doesn’t know what it is, and can’t.

Do you acknowledge that a definite pattern of specific behavior exists among a definitely specific ethnic group called Jews?

Whenever my parents threw in a pet’s name, one or the other of we three idiots would start howling. The other two would bark.

There’s a picture of my sister at the age of like, 1 and a half, trying to claw my eyeballs out.

We live in a post nuclear world. Someone can hit a button at any point in time and fuckin vaporize the whole god damn planet. I have no issues with kids learning this at a young age. Better than teaching them Christopher Columbus “discovered’ America, cuz that shit ain’t true. Teach truth, no matter how awful it…

Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns!

This isn’t the first time an intern landed someone from Washington in trouble.