If I ever have a third, I'll just have to hope they're not done accepting applications for that one-way Mars trip.

The name is, apparently, designed to be as close to a real word as possible while still denying the consumer any dignity in purchasing it.

"Title IX laws require almost all university employees to report any sexual assault allegations they have knowledge of to a supervisor, campus police, or the Student Conduct office, even if no official complaint has been lodged."

The Phillies lost 6-2 to the University of Tampa, who are ranked No. 1 in Division II. God, I missed meaningless baseball.

Right? Shoot, I'm even planning on making pizza dough for homemade pizzas tonight. BOW DOWN, CHILDREN!

Hey, sitters are expensive. So is sex ed. Take your kid to an orgy.

I'm a good Mom, I'm a good MOM!

I am feeling so fucking good about my parenting choices right now and I say that as someone who accidentally kicked my sick child in the head yesterday (dark hallway, kid unexpectedly on floor just inside doorway, bygones). Thank you Heather Young. Thank you!

Obligatory Texan Lady Flag time:

This is where I live, a one road city with 4 stoplight, 5 if you count the blinky one near the fire dept. I saw a change.org petition in FB yesterday and there's a lot of he said she said stuff at that school. Really petty and ridiculous that profesional adults behave this way....and they teach our children.

I dunno... maybe she just shouldn't have swallowed that IUD in the first place.

This is actually Saginaw, Texas. Northwest of Fort Worth. Famous for ridiculous misogyny AND the World's Largest Grain Elevators.

The warrant describes him as a flight risk.

Every time a college athlete does something horrible I wonder if he was recruited by Florida State, and if he regrets not attending school there while handcuffed.

I remember reading that: it's better to be celibate and miserable like me, but since y'all clearly can't control yourselves, get married. I guess. Ladies, remember to cover your hair. And shut up in church. Paul was a treat.

I'll have to defer to you, because the extent of my knowledge here is "I think I heard somewhere that it says . . . ".

My sex-paladin casts "Taunt of Slut" at the Archconservative for 10 damage.

Taunt of Slut is my next band name.

I found that snub so indicative of how Hollywood has treated Joan Rivers over the years. They laugh at her jokes, clap along to her witty jabs at celebrities and then ignore her when it comes time to honor "their own." Fuck the Academy. Joan is too good for them.

They could have included some of those marketing executives on the online one, to make room for her on the air...