I bet "action star in bed" means Patick Schwarzenegger fucks you for precisely 24 seconds, answers his phone, yells, "I have to go stop the alien invasion!" while frantically throwing on his clothes and running out of the room, doesn't call you for two weeks, and then shows up at your door all bruised and bloody…

I know it really doesn't matter and he can do whatever makes him happy and we shouldn't judge, but it does sort of seem like Bruce might be transitioning...

Those are seriously bullshit apples. This is such a food-dick thing to say, but apples are one of the foods with the biggest drop-off from farmer's market/orchard to regular grocery store, where they're all bred for size and color and stackability and durability.

Haha. "butt".

Just for funsies, a quick correction: Victorian era: 1837-1901. Mary I reigned 1553-1558, in the Tudor era.

How are these mutually exclusive claims?

I have never gotten the love for Sorkin and his smug, preachy writing. He's basically an MRA posing as a neo-liberal whose head hasn't left the warm safety of his own ass in a decade.

Happy 40th birthday to Charlie Batch. Here's a thing from a couple years ago on how old he is (very old). Now he's even older. And still the best.

Retracting a complaint doesn't mean it was a false claim. It doesn't mean it had no merit. Actually, in my case, it means that prosecutors tell the victim that their story doesn't sound like a sure conviction because they knew the rapist. Or had consensual sex with him previously. Or was wearing a tank top. Or had 2…

Janay Rice doesn't want to press charges, either. Do you think Ray Rice did not assault her? All sorts of crimes against women go unprosecuted because a story is recanted. That's a long, long way from it being a false allegation.

She may have retracted her complaint because she was quite right in believing you view victims of sexual assault as "victims" and victims of other crimes as, well, victims.

I, for one, am glad that you are a former prosecutor given your affinity for anecdotal evidence.

As a dad myself, I can tell you that what dad really wants is for someone to take the kids away, even if it's just for thirty fucking minutes.

I'm glad you have no idea of the depths to which an abusive relationship can damage a psyche.

"It's hard to imagine any team picking him up this late in the season, or ever again for that matter."

Thank you, guys. I think what we learned today is I should play more video games. Thinking about a Wii. Yes? No? I realize I could ask Kotaku but they're all the way at the other end of the room and y'all are right here.

Great article, but princesses in Mario Kart drive as hard as the boys. Wrong reference.

But then the tree wouldn't be named Tom.