I can’t wait for the movie version! Julia Roberts, have you contacted your agent yet?!?

Somebody set us up the bomb!

This guy looks like a Romulan.

That’s what I’m wondering too. Any glass that costs a grand is going to be too nice to smoke.

Have you ever had Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn jellybeans? They’re fucking nasty but somehow irresistible.

Since a hockey stick is hook shaped, I think “Hookers” is the best name.

Yeah, I was going to call this “good Kinja!” but then it got suuuuuuper creepy.

I don’t need an excuse to post Miles Davis’ astoundingly beautiful “Blues for Pablo” from the endlessly fascinating Jazz Symphony Miles Ahead, but when one just jumps up at me like this....

Look, I’m sure I’m not the first, but I feel like I have to say it:

John as as tall as a 6 foot, 7 inch tree.

I’m pretty sure she’s a .gif, but pronounced with a hard “g,” as it should be.

That’s how I felt about the Gizmodo reviews of CSI: Cyber

Yes, but also Trump-voting assholes who hang out at sports bars and regurgitate these hot takes as scripture.

Shut your lying mouth.

How does Tiger Woods as a golfer compare to Astroturf as a playing surface?

That would be the Zeroth Law of Hot Takes

I read that as “NBA Truther videos” which I would totally watch.

How about “Diaper blowout following child’s first feeding of sweet potatoes”?

I feel a combination of pain, fear, Danes, and loathing, an emotional cocktail that is best expressed in the following songs:

Oh I know it. I was raised Baptist. I think my dad actually served on the committee on committees.