All I’ve gotten from the “Woke Bae” articles is the sense that I don’t know what it means to be Bae and I never will.

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but thank you for the work you do on these stories. It must be really tough to report on this kind of thing day in and day out, and you always do a great job of it.

Are you kidding? Baylor quickly took meaningless action years too late, throwing a couple of disposable staff overboard for the optics. The NCAA has probably already named an award in their honor.

I think they call it “Reganomics"

Do you have any idea how long it takes to get permission from the Great Old ones to release pictures of Yuggoth? And how much trouble we go to photoshop out the cyclopean cities of the Elder Gods? Show some appreciation, please.

Too many words. I’m sure you just mean “IM A COMMUNIS OBAMA LOVIN SJW GLOBAL WARMING SCAMMER SUPPORTING THE ONE WORLD GOVERMENT.”

So... they’re like permanently trapped in a mid-90s MTV Spring Break show or something? Not that there’s anything wrong with that...

Spanx for the memories.

I was thinking the exact same thing. Someone make this happen, now.

The attitude seems to be that “whatever I say is my right and my business, and if it offends you, that’s your problem and you’re just weak.” Yet they are oblivious to the fact that other people have feelings and rights, including the right to say, “that offends me.” And the greatest irony is that these tend to be the…

So do you already have a draft for tomorrow’s article, “I received death threats for reporting on receiving death threats for reporting that a video game would be delayed”?

Rebuttal: is so.

“Firework” is a damn fine song.

Look, I want to believe her, but couldn’t she have had pope Francis, Bernie Sanders, your second favorite aunt, and the ghost of George Washington all signing affidavits confirming her story? I guess we’ll never know the true story, and we can never, ever, ever believe anything unless we have absolute confirmation.

Manny? Seriously, what the duck? You know who would love to have a “Manny”? Someone who can’t afford any ducking childcare, that’s who.

All three of my children were offered to me as “teacup humans,” but this turns out to be false.

*

For the night is dark and full of Bears.

Bullshit. As an adjunct, I have to take a TON of pointless FERPA training. While some of this is protected information, there’s plenty that the law allows for.

You forgot “our thoughts and prayers.”