It’s not as bad as “Do They Know It’s Christmastime?” or “Baby It’s Cold Outside”? Does that count as disparaging? It’s also not as bed as a spinal headache, or at least not as debilitating.

OMG this is like perfect creepypasta.

No I think you’re thinking of ants. You shouldn’t keep ants in your bedroom.

I’m just glad that, as a medievalist, I don’t have to worry about Paul Walker coming along and fucking up my area of experti...

Skrillex?

My MIL worked in an AIDS clinic when my wife was young and they apparently had a comic book that showed HIV as whalers riding great white whales until they died (those were the T-Cells, I think) and a character called Condom Man to whom was said “cover me, I’m going in!” It seems to have made an impression.

Could there be like, a user-submitted Trump moniker list? Or better yet, a bracket!

So much for being elite.

I saw the screen crawl on the NFL Network last night refer to the Titans-Jags game as an “AFC South Showdown.” That must have been computer generated, because no human could type that without collapsing in laughter.

Jerry running around Jerryworld with a flask in his hand screaming, “ONCE MY BOY ROMO GETS BACK EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT YOU’LL SEE YEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!” (Fires guns in the air)

I think “Lawn Sprinkler” was the name I gave to Vodka and Squirt (influenced by Homer’s creation, of course)

D'eh!

Try vodka and wheatgrass. It’s called a lawn sprinkler.

The scientific term is “The Tucker Maximum”

Because of the Mad Cow safety protocols, lame beef isn’t supposed to make it to market.

It’s fall, so grab yourself some Oktoberfest beer before it gets pulled for the winter seasonal brew.

Lisa’s wedding is good, the one where Lisa is president is...maybe half good? A third?

Once you get good at it, Bowser is the only one worth driving.

You’d only compete if it was against a group of preteens.

Can I take your advice just on the bills thing?