Obvious joke is obvious:

I’m all supportive of body positivity, but I think we all need to acknowledge that dolls are creepy.

He’s not wrong. We probably won’t see a better passer in a cowboys uniform this season.

Do you know what sunscreen is made of? I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with dhemicals.

You’re a Buffalo Bills fan?

It means his collarbone is not elite. That was some bush-league collarboning there IMHO

Oh fuck, that’s just awful. And probably true. Then again, I hate every team in the NFC East, although I hate them all in very different ways.

The road trip one is great, the other two just plain suck.

Have you thought about adding a note about what’s currently streaming on Netflix, etc.? It doesn’t exactly fit the article since this is stuff you could watch anytime, but it might be fun.

sentient disclaimer on a bottle of penis pills Roger Goodell.

Artificial grass? I never smoke the stuff.

Looks like those clowns at Deadspin have done it again. What a bunch of clowns.

Man I want the Cowboys to beat the Eagles in the worst way. I don’t mean that in the way you’d think, that I want in the worst way for the Cowboys to win. No, I want the Eagles to lose horribly, but I want the Cowboys to only win in a way that is awful and ugly. Like I want them to win, but Jerry Jones’ grandson is…

What I feel we need is several more thinkpieces about the excessive number of thinkpieces about Franzen.

I only come here for the articles on simultaneous linear equations.

I’m going to start looking for opportunities to use the phrase “abused with nakedness” more often.

A: The death-rattle of late-stage capitalism. Good riddance.

Everton Whoop Chelsea, member of parliament for Devonworcesterdowtonblibityshire

Because of this guy, the University of Texas at Arlington is undefeated in the NCAA Tourney. They only went to the tournament once, in 2008, and exited after the first round, losing to Memphis, but not really because that loss never happened.

Does Tumblr count as a porn app?