America’s traditional “Muslim” allies are largely 1) Hard-line secularist Westernizers who have brutally suppressed resistance from religiously-oriented groups and 2) the Saudis, whose leadership practices a rigid, fundamentalist version of Islam that is out of step with the historical, mainstream practices of Islam.

I’ve got news for you, bud: the way that smells, it ain’t finger paint.

We are a total accurate names family. I used to have a hangup about saying the word “penis,” but having two boys and a girl will cure one of that ... or make it worse, if you are unwilling to get over it.

As a father of a female toddler, here’s my dilemma: should I be rigorously anatomically correct, or can I just call the whole thing “vagina”? This is literally the most challenging difference I’ve faced between raising her and her brothers.

Or by calling it a “conservative”

I feel like I need more photographic evidence to form an opinion. Try as I might, I just can’t seem to find pictures of topless women on the internet.

See, I knew my procrastination today would ultimately have a positive impact on the world.

You can be both.

I’d rather be in Hawaii. But I’d still probably be commenting on GM sites.

What just because he was a horrible racist and anti-Semite, and his music was an inspiration to the Nazis, and his kids were Nazis, and he almost certainly would have been a Nazi if he’d had a chance, and “Flight of the Valkyries” is the most overplayed song in all of history and.... okay, I see your point.

Okay, I am a big time music nerd and even I had to look up Pierre-Jean de Béranger on Wiki. Also, J.S. Bach or gtfo.

This is the way the world ends,

Kind of giving the side-eye there, like she’s saying, “Is this really a photoshoot or do you have some weird thing for women wearing ridiculous necklaces?”

Yes. YES.

Is “tuberose” a slang term for vagina? I think it should be.

I have a 3-year-old child, and the remarkable thing about a 3-year-old is not that they make a huge mess, but that they can make a mess so QUICKLY. Just a wave of my son’s arm and an entire train set will be in shambles on the floor.

My problem with the Eagles is that I always feel that, no matter how much I hate them, I just can’t hate them as much as they deserve.

And Hell’s Satans Helles Lager

Lawnmower — Heffeweissen with wheatgrass (apologies to Saint Arnold’s, whose actual Lawnmower is quite good)

Armin Tanzarian Pilsner — The beer that you’ll never speak of again