“Independent Thought Alarm” should be an IPA, IMO

This email is like the embodiment of Houston. Like if some mass scientist converted every major city into an email, this is exactly what Houston would be.

Gay man comes out as Brewers prospect

Pretty much all of that last paragraph sums it up.

I think that’s mostly just because the Spurs are so boring that trolls fall asleep before they get any good harassing done.

It’s not how I like my coffee, but it’s a good description of the state of my coffee maker.

“Alfie” is really good if you’re into halfling sex. And who isn’t? It’s at buttsmithy dot com.

I think you want womensittingincornersthinkingaboutwhattheyhavedone.tumblr.com

I’ve been doubling up on my Adderall on Fridays to get a jump start on my weekend.

Help I’m trapped in an overpriced jewelry factory

Those glasses straight up OWN. But they’d look better in a darker color, like a deep violet.

How does it work, using my kids as a meal ticket? Do I have to get them punched each time, or are they like a reloadable card? They’re super expensive to feed, so I want to know if this can save me money.

Are we sure “Norwood Teague” is a real person and not an Arrested Development character?

Meh. Most of the people that play first-person-shooters are a bunch of babies, based on how they react when someone steps on their precious worldview.

I voted for all the ones that didn’t have a state’s name in them, plus Western Mich because Kalamazoo.

I just think it’s funny to hear people talk about “RPG”s that don’t involve dice, pencils, paper, minis, and gallons of Mountain Dew.

Put a square of fake grass in front of it so she can brush her feet off.

I got some allegedly beer-flavored kettle chips from Aldi. They don’t taste at all like beer. I’m not sure what they taste like, and it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s definitely not beer, unless you like your beer salty and kind of sweet.

Wow, okay. I mean, I used to think night lights were for avoiding nightmares, but I guess they can be fuel for them as well.

Maybe fifty cents worth of material; ten minutes of work for a decent seamstress.