Anti-Semites have freaked out over Kosher food for years, talking up an imaginary “Kosher Tax” that us Goyim have to pay to get that “K” on our box of Wheaties.

The worst thing about this whole situation is that it’s forcing me to be in agreement with the Patriots. Couldn’t we change the punishment to the Chiefs or the Texans or someone I won’t feel so bad for standing up for?

As a Texan and Rangers fan, I have to say that this picture does not appear unusual to me at all.

That eye-roll: I want a .gif of that.

“For a boy you are pretty good at pulling my still-beating heart out of my chest.”

I loathe Olive Garden, but I would eat the hell out of a meatball breadstick sandwich.

I hate this song. But I like just about the whole rest of The album. The song “Two Step” is one of those I could just listen to on report forever.

Did Tom Brady actually gain any ball handling advantage from what was done to the balls? I would like to hear more about Tom Brady handling balls.

Since no toxicology screen is perfect, some drugs don’t remain in the system, and the police made multiple errors in their investigation, no, a negative tox screen does not prove her statement demonstrably false.

Man, I don’t even like to mow the lawn. Murder is way too much hassle.

Just to clarify, Stephen A. Smith can belittle women and defend domestic violence with impunity, but Simmons can’t refer to basic anatomy?

I don’t see how Dan Patrick still has time to run a sports show, what with being the bugfuck crazy shitbag Lt. Governor of Texas.

So has he sent in a resume to you guys yet?

Hotter take: what if Jerry Jones did it, knowing it would force down Collins’s market value, making it easier for the Cowboys to acquire him?

The comma splices and spelling errors made my brain hurt.

More like tongue in there pussy am i right bro?

I steadfastly support a couple’s right to a clothing optional wedding.

The only thing I’d feel okay about judging is if a couple went so far above their means that they ended up putting themselves or others in debt. That seems detrimental and unnecessary.

Do you really think it’s not expected? Don’t you think people are pressured to spend as much as possible on their wedding?

Oh, but that wouldn’t be showing the world that you have so much money that you can afford to destroy a $3000 dress (is that what they cost? I really have no idea). It’s like those awful rich kids who instagram pictures of using iPhones as bookmarks.