*dammit

This comment is an attempt at humor and therefore immune from any criticism.

As a college instructor, this really worries me. I don't assign a lot of group work (because I always hated it in school), but I do occasionally. I also never make students exchange e-mails or anything like that.

There's only one thing you need to know about a colon: it needs to be preceded by an independent clause.

Best Picture

in my house, piling something up next to the washing machine is a good way to make sure it doesn't get washed for a good while.

The Lego Musical: coming soon?

Obvious, child.

Important question: what songs will be runners up to the inevitable "Best Song" winner, "Everything is Awesome"? Of course, if there were any justice in the world (there is not), the winner would be "Untitled Self-Portrait":

And my James Garfield infected surgical incisions necktie.

No. God no. This can't, I just can't. Between this and the funeral that got shut down for the gay woman, I have run out of even.

Richie: I wrote a suicide note.

I think artificiality has a legitimate aesthetic appeal. It's one of those things where tastes swing back and forth — think Glam Rock vs. Folk Rock.

My 15 month old isn't quite 20 lbs, but she's small for her age.

See, why can't human males be this decent and reasonable in their mating rituals? "Hey baby, check out my bizarre chest display!" "LOL no thx!" "Whatevs. Plenty of birds on the prairie."

Remember the movie The Last Starfighter? Well, this is just like that, only the aliens desperately want reality show stars.

They had their "playoff" and Ohio State still won. This is bullshit; NCAA division 1 football is bullshit.

Makes sense. Cats hate birds.

Thank you for reminding me again why not having TV service is a good thing.

I, on the other hand, need multiple attempts to spell "preferred" while sober.