Not just nipples, but also the space between, under, beside, above, etc. the breasts.

Since the 2005 amendment bans recognition of "all unions identical to marriage," and opposite-sex marriage is identical to marriage, all marriages, gay and straight, are unrecognized in Texas.

IV is more enjoyable ("Where are the nuclear wessels?"), but VI is the better film. And they both seem better compared to the abysmal hole of awfulness that is V.

Man. I don't wanna say that white people are inherently prone to violent behavior....

I'm just going to sit here and wait for the Tea Party and NRA to come to this guy's defense....

What if someone asks you if you are a god?

I'm leaning toward "D," although I would imagine it would be very sticky. Also, it kind of looks like the kind of candy that looks insanely delicious but ends up being only kind of tasty.

Is Pia Zadorra not starring in anything this year?

This should be accompanied with a warning that Vaseline or any other petroleum-based lubricant will corrode any latex product. So if you're planning on inserting this bottle rectally and decide to cover it with a latex glove or condom, please use water- or silicone-based lubricant.

Meanwhile, in news people should actually give a shit about, there are more than 578,000 homeless people in the US, a third of whom don't have any shelter. We can expect deaths across the country this winter, as many cold weather shelters don't open until it's way too cold for people too survive without shelter.

Clearly an example of the "rash promise" motif in action. If they still taught Chaucer in high schools, this would never have happened.

He spoiled the ending of Chaucer's The Shipman's Tale when he knew I was only ten or twenty lines into it.

Well, I've got photo evidence that proves this, but it will cost you.

A man dressed as a woman dressed as a man?

Faberge Egg addiction?

I don't know. I always suspected Andrew Wiggin's battle school records were egregiously inflated. And his brother is quite clearly a better politician.

I'm curious, has Greta van Susstern (sp?) spoken out against the crimes and human rights abuses perpetrated by her religion, the Church of Scientology?

He looks pretty good, considering all that time he spent in France living as a fugitive.

Are there really that many people with structured settlements? Serious question, how many of these things are there that you can base a whole business off of scamming people out of them?