It always bothers me that everyone expects women co-stars not only to get along but to be the best of friends forever, even after their work together ends. I’ve seen those expectations of male actors, but not nearly as strongly or as often.

I negotiate contracts for a living and 6 months isn’t even that long

This is what I don’t get...I don’t know anything really about the personalities involved and why they do and don’t get along, but she has a right to negotiate HER contract until she gets what she wants. And if she doesn’t get what she wants then she has a right to not sign on to the movie. They shouldn’t have assumed…

You won’t keep playing with us so now we can’t do it at all!!!! Waaaaaaaaaa!!! Because.... just because! Boo, hoo.

There already is a senior dating app. . .and my grandpa uses it.

This is the thing. His comment doesn’t refute hers. You can offer me a hundred gobillion dollars to jump off a roof on TV for six months and I can keep telling you no. From your perspective, you’re negotiating. From my perspective, I’m consistently telling you no. Now, you can book the TV special and the building and…

My advice to the entire SaTC cast

1. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the lamest of all hall of fames. It’s dumb and shouldn’t even exist in the first place. A “hall of fame” is the least “rock and roll” thing imaginable.

We don’t need a ban on bump stocks. We need a ban on semi-automatic weapons.

Small consolation, he did not throw cups of lime jello to the wounded people at the hospital the way he chucked paper towels at the citizens of Puerto Rico.

Bobby, your recaps manage to capture the intensity of my hatred for Megyn Kelly in a way I could never adequately convey.

DON’T FORGET ALL THE PINK! If it’s not PINK, it’s not real cancer.

JFC.

Ah, October. The month we are bombarded with expert opinions on breast cancer from people who are not oncologists.

As a cubs fan, I agree. We’re paying for the level of joy we felt, because god knows I haven’t gotten close to it since.

I think he sprained a scarf.

That was the only thing about yesterday that wasn’t a complete garbage fire.

“It feels like someone has opened a window into hell”

Conan also hit a poignant note:

“...It feels like someone has opened a window into hell.”

I took an antibiotic two months ago that I got from a walk in clinic. I started feeling crappy again and went to a different clinic, closer to my house, and they said, “Oh, it seems you just were on an antibiotic?” and then lectured me on antibiotic abuse.