This is why you skip the flirting and go right to the drunken make-out session at the bar with a near stranger. Otherwise known as How I Met My Husband.
This thread is gold.
Definitely go to the Senior Center and get into the "Newly Old and Unfuckable" Line.
I'll be 36 in a few months. Do you know where I'm supposed to report to claim my standard-issue old lady Merrell clogs? I know it used to be the Social Security office, but I heard they might change it to the Department of Elder Affairs at the Senior Center.
Now, now. We must police all women over the age of 35 or larger than a size 6 to make sure they know their place and wear loose-fitting twin sets and mom jeans as God intended.
WHAT? Didn't you get the AARP Newsletter? They've relaxed the "Pants with buttons" ban, and will not start enforcing Snuggie Protocol until the age of 33! Dansko or Merrill clogs will not be mandatory until 40. Is it too late for you to get your stuff back?
I turned 30 and immediately threw out all of my clothes in favor of a snuggie collection.
Shhhh. Don't be mad at them. They truly have no idea that one day, they'll be 35 too. That they will be hunkered down over the bathroom mirror, looking for gray hairs and wondering if they "still look good for their age." That will be punishment enough.
The really great thing about being an "old woman" is I have money now, and I don't have to shop in H&M anymore.
I think they've started calling themselves Chico's nowadays.
Amy Redwine's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom!
Nah I'm not offended. It just makes you sound like you think the rest of the world is like a Disney ride or something, with hugs and sharing and stuff. I think Americans have a lot of fucked up ideas but pretending the rest of the world is totally different is very strange.
Wow, yeah. Maybe you can commission a dress made entirely of lentils and then donate it to a soup kitchen afterwards.
I like that Mariah Carey used her old wedding dress from her Tommy Mottola wedding in one of her videos (post-divorce, pre-Nick Cannon) because she a) said it was obscenely expensive, b) it was couture!, and c) when the hell else was she going to wear it? So she wrote it into the script of the video, just to wear it…
No. Spending an obscene amount of money on a dress you'll wear exactly once is a spoiled, self-indulgent, wasteful practice, but not one that is in any way limited to Americans. What you do with it after that is irrelevant.
I bought my "window treatments" online at a site that translates from Portuguese as cheapblinds.com. They were around $150 per window plus shipping, so I felt very rich already, as my previous "window treatments" came from the hardware store for like $60 per window...
True enough that it's not a sound investment either way. I think I'm just amazed that people could spend so much money and then destroy it, I think I'm also amazed that people can spend so much for a one time event. But yes, what else are most people going to do with their dress anyway, I know re-selling is a thing…
That's what I mean, though....whether you spend $100 or $10,000, it's not a sound investment either way. You'll never wear it again! Yeah, I could spend even more money to have it "preserved" and then it can take up way too much (valuable) space in my closet for 30 years on the off-chance that my daughter might want…