Now, now. We must police all women over the age of 35 or larger than a size 6 to make sure they know their place and wear loose-fitting twin sets and mom jeans as God intended.

WHAT? Didn't you get the AARP Newsletter? They've relaxed the "Pants with buttons" ban, and will not start enforcing Snuggie Protocol until the age of 33! Dansko or Merrill clogs will not be mandatory until 40. Is it too late for you to get your stuff back?

I turned 30 and immediately threw out all of my clothes in favor of a snuggie collection.

Shhhh. Don't be mad at them. They truly have no idea that one day, they'll be 35 too. That they will be hunkered down over the bathroom mirror, looking for gray hairs and wondering if they "still look good for their age." That will be punishment enough.

The really great thing about being an "old woman" is I have money now, and I don't have to shop in H&M anymore.

I think they've started calling themselves Chico's nowadays.

Amy Redwine's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom!

Nah I'm not offended. It just makes you sound like you think the rest of the world is like a Disney ride or something, with hugs and sharing and stuff. I think Americans have a lot of fucked up ideas but pretending the rest of the world is totally different is very strange.

Wow, yeah. Maybe you can commission a dress made entirely of lentils and then donate it to a soup kitchen afterwards.

I like that Mariah Carey used her old wedding dress from her Tommy Mottola wedding in one of her videos (post-divorce, pre-Nick Cannon) because she a) said it was obscenely expensive, b) it was couture!, and c) when the hell else was she going to wear it? So she wrote it into the script of the video, just to wear it…

No. Spending an obscene amount of money on a dress you'll wear exactly once is a spoiled, self-indulgent, wasteful practice, but not one that is in any way limited to Americans. What you do with it after that is irrelevant.

I bought my "window treatments" online at a site that translates from Portuguese as cheapblinds.com. They were around $150 per window plus shipping, so I felt very rich already, as my previous "window treatments" came from the hardware store for like $60 per window...

True enough that it's not a sound investment either way. I think I'm just amazed that people could spend so much money and then destroy it, I think I'm also amazed that people can spend so much for a one time event. But yes, what else are most people going to do with their dress anyway, I know re-selling is a thing…

That's what I mean, though....whether you spend $100 or $10,000, it's not a sound investment either way. You'll never wear it again! Yeah, I could spend even more money to have it "preserved" and then it can take up way too much (valuable) space in my closet for 30 years on the off-chance that my daughter might want…

I think they are still staying in some hotel because of the neverending mansion remodel. So that is probably the hotel bed.

Wait, is that Kanye's actual bed? That's disappointing. I mean, it looks comfy and all, but from what I can see of it, it's strikingly similar to my own bed, which I purchased from West Elm. With a coupon code. I pictured Kanye West sleeping atop some 4-poster mahogany monstrosity custom made to resemble the sleeping…

I once read a comment (maybe it was here) pointing out that Kit Harington always looks like he can't believe how gross your bathroom is. It's funny 'cuz it's true. Now that I know he's a descendant of a toilet magnate, it just makes me laugh harder.

This interview has not changed my overwhelming meh for him. Even when he got wasted and broke his ankle breaking into his own apartment, I'm sure he did it as boringly as possible.

"(In the game of toilet thrones, you win or you die.)"

"Can't buy me love."