Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person,

I like to rag on Robin Thicke as much as anyone, but come on. Who among us would not invite Tom Hardy to our divorce party?

But that's exactly what we're talking about. This sentence:

I have lululemon stuff, and do yoga, and eat kale? But they're not really my defining personality traits?

It is different, but also not, in the way that it is the exact same thing as the Cool Girl, just inverted. It is winning the approval of other women by embracing the (stereotypically) feminine. And in my completely anecdotal observation, it seems as though it affects the exact same women that were wearing football…

I don't know. I'm in my 30's, married with kids, but I still think that there are many women around me who still play the Cool Girl. The only difference is that now it's less for the benefit of men, and more for the benefit of other women. They've just traded beer, hotdogs and football for wine, Barefoot Contessa…

Should have bought a Rody, fucko!

The infantata is the only AHS thing that legit scared me. So many things that were creepy, disturbing, uncomfortable, etc. But oh my fucking god, that frankenstein pig baby. Actual Captain Howdy/Jaws popping out of the water terror.

I mean, I can understand why Dougal would suggest it, less so why Claire and Jamie would go along with it so willingly.

I am SO into all of Claire's knit accessories. Did this lady fall through time or through an Anthropologie Catalog?

I mean, I knew that obviously Dougal was going to suggest Jamie because that's clearly where this has been going since Day 1. But am I the only one who finds this extremely....convenient? Dougal wants to marry Claire off so Randall can't interrogate her. "Oh, I know! Let's marry her off to the one person in Scotland…

Yeah, they'll make you look younger....if you are young to begin with.

Authorities said they do not know at this time if drugs or alcohol played a role in the accident,

If 27 feels like being attacked by bees, I'm nervous as shit about my upcoming 36th. Maybe it will feel like a shark attack.

This is so sad. I can't imagine anything making me love one of my kids less. I'm probably going to go too far in the other direction, and be that embarrassing mom who's like "Do you like boys or girls? Or both? It's okay, you can tell me!!! I'll love you no matter what!!!"

I'm....curious as to how you arrived at these ratings? I mean, a Kennebunkport Surprise is not something I ever hope to experience, but like....how is that grosser than the Klondike bar or the Piss Popsicle?

Eva Green scares me too. Not her eyes. The fact that she's my age, and I vividly remember when she was the young ingenue circa The Dreamers. That feels like 10 minutes ago, and yet now she's playing the mom to a teenager.

All of us old people keep saying that Saint, North, Blue, Royal Reign, Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Bronx and Audio Science are going to be laughingstocks. But at what point do these names become the new normal, and kids start picking on other kids named, like Matthew? "Your name's David? What were you, like named after…

I feel pretty strongly that most of these were written with a purpose. Not to actually provide reviews, but to rack up "Cool" or "Funny" points. Most of which aren't either, but still. The bat guy? Was totally looking for that Hunter S. Thompson reference.

Hey! Those commercials were YOUR idea!!!!!