Last time I did this, I got more than a patch!

John Mayer gets a 10 out of 10 at intercourse. Which is how we know it's a lie.

In extremely rare cases, rich people have been known to pass their condition along to others, usually to spouses, adopted children, and their accountant's nephew. However, as you are "the help" you are safely ensconced in the "Lowest Possible Risk" pool.

It's okay, everyone! Deep breaths! Despite what Republicans have been trying to sell voters for years, Affluenza is not contagious. I repeat, you are not, at any point, in danger of catching Affluenza.

Agreed. I wouldn't wear any of it as styled in the look book, but I would totally wear some of that stuff.

Agreed. I really love some of his movies, others are just meh. But Kevin Smith, the actual person? Is my favorite.

I spent most of my 20's buying every expensive bottle of perfume ever manufactured. A decade later, the ones that I still buy/wear are:

Jo Malone? I know she has a grapefruit scent, I'm not sure if it's unisex. But her French Lime Blossom is one of my favorites.

Justin Beiber has a perfume? Awesome. I've always wanted to walk around smelling like gym socks and entitlement.

Well yeah, I agree that people who are well-suited for one another have a better shot than those that aren't. I just think it's rarely as simple as "People with more money have less to worry about and so they will argue less."

I don't know about that. I live in a town that's full of upper-middle class/flat out rich families. Some of them actually hate each other, but would rather live forever in an unhappy marriage than give the neighborhood the satisfaction of gossiping about them. It's all about keeping up appearances.

Hmmm. Based not on science, but my own observations, I have a hard time believing that the marriages are any happier, but that the people who need 10 foot towering floral arrangements on every table and swan ice sculptures and 300 wedding guests are the exact same kind of people who would rather die than admit that…

I know this isn't meant to be a funny story, but the thought of him calling her dad and pretending to be his dad is making me laugh like hell. Mostly because I'm imagining Cameron calling Mr. Rooney in Ferris Bueller. "Mistah Rooneh? This is George Petuh-sun!"

That is totally me right now. School starts in 2 weeks. If my children don't kill me, or each other by then.

reconnects with his high school friend Peter Sarsgaard, who is foine.

Throw in a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, and that's basically my every Friday night for the past 6 years.

No one cares about your A list status on Air Greyhound, Duff Watson. Go cry somewhere else.

Eh, I have 2 half sisters. The one on my mom's side is my best friend, and even though she lives in another country, we are very close and talk at least once a week.

Captain Kirk is so, so hot. And I have a theory that ?uestlove might actually be the most fun person in the universe. I could hang out with that guy all day.

When I was a kid, I met Pauly Shore at the airport and he was super nice to me. This was in the early 90's, when he was at the height of his fame. The fact that he's now some sad sack Twitter hanger-on makes me sad.