No weapon forged....

Sometimes I have this idea, to impale the corpses of all of the spiders I've murdered on little toothpick pikes and line my porch with them. To serve as a warning to all of their friends in the garden who might otherwise think it would be totally fine to come on inside and crawl across my fucking ceiling.

I have no idea why. I know it's not rational, at all. A few weeks ago there was a fucking bear in my backyard. A huge-ass black bear 10 feet from my kitchen window eating all of the strawberries in my garden. Still not as scary as the time there was a really big spider in my bathroom.

Every baby is a blessing until it becomes a burden on the taxpayers.

Clearly the problem here is that her 4 year old needs to be put on a diet, immediately.

Well, if you're on 4, I'd say keep going. Episodes 5 and 6 of the first season are awesome, definitely 2 of the standout episodes of the entire series. (And if for some reason, those don't do it for you, you should probably stop because the show just might not be for you. )

This woman has super bad judgement.

So, is it because you're afraid your kid might see boobs, or you're embarrassed that your kid might think you were looking at boobs on the internet? My kids are younger than yours, but they've been to art museums and sculpture gardens and those places have boobs a'plenty and it's never been an issue. Oh sure, they'll…

"Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off camera with me?" I said, "What?" He says, "I can't. I can't do it with her. I'm just not getting anything from this."

"I kept thinking, what if my kids had eaten it?"

My son is 6. I assure you that he would never, ever eat a green, leaf-ish thing without asking what it was, and confirming how many bites of said green leaf-ish thing he was expected to take well in advance.

Her husband has been in Georgetown University Hospital after surgery in May, and the family now faces eviction from its condo. The family has fallen behind on rent, with McFarland unable to work with two children.

Agreed. My favorite day is Sunday, because Sunday is "Make a ginormous bowl of tabbouleh for the week ahead day." (Seriously, tabbouleh is almost all I want to eat these days.)

Oh man, I have heard Taylor Dayne's music. My own personal Taylor Dayne story involves a road trip from New Jersey to Toronto when I was 10, with my sister and our crazy aunt who played the same fucking TD cassette the entire ride.

It's amazing, right? Like how is listening to someone talk about Taylor Dayne for 16 minutes a thing anyone would want to do? And yet here we are!

That Taylor Dayne tweet just reminded me of that amazing story Tig Notaro told on This American Life. One of the best laughs I've ever had. If you're not familiar:

You aren't very bright, are you? I was not talking about you...I was talking about the original comment, to the original poster I responded to. You're the one stuck your nose in, all "Oh, how's everything in your little bubble, you should read some medical reports!" And whatever the fuck else you are blathering on…

No, I'm just pointing out that the OP doesn't sound like someone with a lick of experience talking to or about rape victims. You don't either, for that matter, so just keep talking out of your ass. Clearly you have a lot of experience with that.

No. I'm pointing out the irony of someone claiming to be "too sensitive" as the result of their volunteer work with abused kids, you know, the abused kids that this person is getting so very offended on behalf of? And then this person proceeds to follow this statement with a completely gratuitous description of one…