I know it's dangerous to admit to this on the internet, but I don't particularly care for cats. I'm not like "Death to all cats" or anything, I just don't go out of my way to be around them or watch cat videos or anything. Oh, but this....this gets me in my heart. Years ago, while I was away at school, my dad and…

5. Realise that you will never parent as well as non-parents on the Internet

It's adorable that you thought that was so clever that you had to post it again. Like it would be such a travesty if the world never knew the depths of your wit and you just had to share it!

It's possible to do this as a parent. Unfortunately, it means that you aren't going to be BFFs with your kid, which many parents now days can't seem to deal with.

My kids are 5 and 4, and they already know that it's not okay to call people "turds" so I'd say they are already ahead of you in the manners department.

Every generation thinks that they did it "better" than the next one. You sound like my grandpa. As if no child ever kicked a chair prior to 1982.

Well you're obviously one of those assholes that think raising a child is like training a fucking dog, so I'd imagine that to you, we are all "THOSE" parents.

Seriously. Yes. Yes, I will join your creepy sex cult, you beautiful, dirty hippie man!

Ugh, so frustrating. Almost all of our banking is done automatically or online, my husband's paycheck is direct deposit, split between our checking and savings accounts. I have a separate account that I've had since before we were married that my meager part time salary goes to, which I use mostly for groceries, gas,…

That's interesting, because Chase and BofA are the two banks that this happened with. Yeah, it sucked because both times I completely freaked out, knowing that neither card was even close to it's limit, but also because it's fucking mortifying having your card declined. I'm lucky that in both cases I had other means…

Has anyone else noticed some serious credit card weirdness the past few months? Both my husband and I shopped at Target during the time that the accounts were compromised, but we kept a close eye on our bank and CC statements and nothing weird ever turned up. However, I have TWICE since then had my cards declined at…

Mal Reynolds wants in on this too.

For some weird reason, my kids LOVE straight lemon juice. If we go out to eat, and I order water with lemon, they will fight over who gets the lemon wedge. So they can suck it dry. (I now ask for water with several lemon wedges.)

I'll just leave this here, for anyone who hasn't already seen it.

I'm absolutely certain her shoes had to have something to do with it.

Jesus Christ. This is my favorite thread in Jezebel history.

I want to hug him, and maybe make him a bowl of soup and some cookies.

Ha! I actually have no idea, but it seems like the most Texas thing ever. "We sure as shit ain't gonna pay for anything you actually need, but here! Your heating bill is on us! What's that? It's 72 degrees outside, and you'd rather we helped you pay for food, dental care, medical bills or birth control? What a pack of…