Nicki Minaj is like an IRL Pocahontas to me, similar to how Kim was an IRL Princess Jasmine before she did all that stuff that made her look like a completely different person. They both have to die for bone structure.

Yeah, it comes and goes and you're in the worst of it now as far as energy and sickness. Most of the time you will want to sleep for 23 hours, then one day when you wake up you will find the energy and compulsion to manically paint some rooms and rearrange furniture and go for ecstatic jogs in the park and spend…

It seems more and more obvious that men have the capacity to be just as connected to and affected by having children as women, and just as capable of being nurturers. Women don't have an "innate" ability to be caretakers—humans do. It's just that, because we tend to foist all the childrearing work onto women, they get…

I wish all rumors could be addressed by consuming red wine in public.

Holy shit, there are stickers!

Dear Chase,

For the record, I was the only Jezebel staffer who watched the entire 5SOS video looking like this:

As someone staring down a potential $2000/month for infant daycare in Queens NYC, we need subsidized daycare. Like, yesterday.

Holy Christ, she's obnoxious. I didn't use to have an opinion on Cameron Diaz, but now I want to push her off a pier.

Let's all take a moment to appreciate Oklahoma's method of crowd control: half-heartedly rolling a bicycle at people.

I thought that was the point of the comments.

Suggesting sexual violence as a response to sexual violence doesn't really help. It just makes the cycle continue.

Apology accepted.

South Park!

You just described my 14-year-old son.

Half of the time they're laughing at the memory of some dude they just deee-stroyed with their salad-fueled sex strength.

Every time you accuse a woman of being a lesbian because she doesn't want to have sex with you, your dick gets shorter and your balls get longer.

Yeah but what if my ovaries are like, way smarter than my brain?

I'm German, and I approve of these stereotypes. Mixtapes for everyone!

Every time you talk to a woman and look at her breasts and not her face your favorite sports team reduces their chance of making the playoffs by 37%.