So much funny here. Southern belle's getting the 'vapors', purple shirt doing his best "I'm the most important person here, bro" impersonation, and the lack of a single person of color really sum it all up.

Bitter much? I am an amazing personal trainer and work very hard at keeping my clients fit and safe. I went to school and work more hours then any office employee I know of. I start work before most people get up and work until most people are finishing their dinners. I charge $175 an hour and people pay me months in…

My inner "Bitter old Fuck" was reading this and just rolling his eyes and going "Oh get over yourself.."

Then "Royals" came on over spotify and I vomited blood down myself..

"Perhaps" the greatest film?!? Shut your mouth!

He is worse at being a person than most ducks.

But does she have a duster? It's far more bad-ass than a regular pant suit.

I think she's more like The Onion, but whatever.

Sure, because women are only valuable if they are mothers.

I am trying to figure out the sound that the child was making by saying "Ah mee mee mee" in various voices, making me, once again, the office nutcase.

Ear Plugs + 4-12 drinks at bar + Pillow = I'll still be sleeping when we crash into a mountain and die.

"But airport bars are expensive!"

It's a small price to pay for uninterrupted cross continental sleep.

You could upgrade to business/first class, but for that scratch you could get a very nice grand tourer, such as this 560 SEC for $4250, and arrive with the most class the Vaterland can offer.

I feel like you can either rock a low neckline OR a high slit. Both is just.....too much.

As far as computer-generated assimilations go, I honestly have to say that Aimi Eguchi still beats out either of these.

I call shenanigans. Neither of these women look a thing like me!

Jesus Christ, this is a shitshow of an article. And it could've been done so well, too.

I'm sorry, but there's only one Pam who can go by one name only.

Here's my looney "disability is a social construct" take on this:

Not to be all Debbie Downer, but it's important to remember that Adderall can fuck up your heart. I have personally seen 2 friends (one in her late 20s, one mid 30s) have heart arrhythmias on Adderall. Both were perfectly healthy, one passed out in her kitchen from taking Adderall to lose a few "wedding pounds." The…

Fuck Adderall. It destroyed my life in one year. I got a prescription while working overnights. It shut down my creativity and made me a little worker robot. I never slept, food tasted like shit so I rarely ate, I shit a lot, I would have breakdowns every week, I quickly started abusing it (taking five times the…