Your wife sounds cool. Is she, uh, seeing anybody?

“sure, legalize marijuana” they said. “it’ll be fine dont worry about it”

The response should be ‘I am happy to do that as soon as you release your medical records and tax returns as I already have.’

Trump will next criticize Clinton’s ill-fitting suits, her inexplicably orange skin, her tendency to loom over people, and her terrible comb-over. “I hear she just reaches out and grabs people by the pussy, is what I hear” reports Trump.

Okay, this is causing me significant pain to maybe just maybe a little agree - *hurls into toilet for several minutes*

Speaking of memory loss, I’m looking forward to this gem.

Beans beans good for your heart
the more you eat them... the less your farts stink.

It doesn’t rhyme. I know.
I’m bad at rhyming and writing haikus.

evangelical host Pat Robertson said that Trump was “just trying to look macho.”

I love this response. And it’s so close to a perfect Haiku! Forgive the missing syllable, maybe you can add it in ;)

Take your star, you jerk.

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

I sure as hell hope she got up and told her teammates “That’s how shit is done bitches.” Because no one else was going in the right direction to make that tackle for at least another 10 to 20 yards.

In cases of legitimate rapists winning the Republican nomination, well, the female electorate has ways to shut the whole thing down.

At this point, Donald Trump is just Al Czervik, but without any of Rodney Dangerfield’s endearing vulnerability.

I just want to again clarify that this man is currently running for President of the United States of America.

Maybe Jeb! Did know about this.

I’m really quite confused that this is the point where the GOP breaks with him. How is this a surprise? He’s said similarly disgusting things about women all through his campaign. Is it really shocking that he takes the language up a notch when he thinks he has some privacy?

I think I have just the thing for the GOP. May as well own it.

is a child sized weed brownie completely out of the question? probably is because of all that brain development stuff, but i would look into something that would just knock her out.

“Ummmmm” -Georgia