Now I want to try this stupid sandwich, but I’m scared.

The biggest complaint I’ve seen is that people wanted private servers like you get in Minecraft, where anything you build sticks around the next time you log in. My understanding is that this subscriptions puts you in a brand new private server every time you log in, so if you’ve built on say a Workshop that goes away…

“Not a lot of people know this, because I just now pulled it out of my ass...”

That first example, “Just these guns!” is funny, and you all know it.

Back in ‘93 there was a vacant lot near my apartment that often had people setting up basically pop-up yard sales. I was out for a walk one day and saw a velvet painting of Randy “Macho Man” Savage on sale for five bucks. It was, and remains, one of the most gloriously beautiful things I have ever seen. I cannot…

Forget it, he’s rolling. 

Would Wes be there?

Otisburg?!

My favorite restaurant as a kid was The Ground Round, which had a sign on the wall saying “Don’t spit on the floor. Remember the Johnstown Flood!” I loved that place because they gave everyone a basket of peanuts and encouraged you to throw the shells on the floor. I’ve always wondered how many kids they killed. 

Have to admit I’m curious how the Police Chief would react if someone said the exact same thing about him or one of his officers. I can’t help but feel he’d be a bit more forceful.

Usually you have to pay extra for that kind of action, Cotton. 

Pfft. Foil lined purse for the win. Grandma has much wisdom. 

When my wife and I visited a winery has to be 15 years ago they charged a small amount for samples but waived the charge if you bought a bottle of something. Makes sense to me. 

Why do they hate Christmas so?

What kind of world are we living in when the racists are too stupid to hire one black guy they can point to and say, “See?! We’re not racist!”?

I always thought they wasted Bobaf Ett’s potential by having him eaten by the Soloc. 

Now I’m all hungry. 

Cesar Romero was the greatest Joker of all time and I pity anyone who doesn’t realize that.

When I was 14 I found a dirty, ripped up Penthouse in the woods. That would’ve been in ‘84 or ‘85 and I still consider it among my highest achievements.

I’d kill everyone in this room to have President Quayle right now.