So you’re saying that after reviewing all of the evidence, a Brazilian inspector looked over at Lochte, and was like,

I’m totally cool lying to a foreign government, especially a corrupt one. His allegiance is to the stars and bars, not crooked ass Brazil. But, man, if it’s true he did it to keep his chick from finding out, that’s a bad look. There are levels of chick you obstruct justice over. Kate Upton, Emily Ratajkowski, Betty…

Trump shall over comb.

Really chomping at the bit here to learn more than we already know about an orange buffoon and a beleaguered woman who really, really wants this.

Remain Calm!!!!!

How do you see 4 shooters where none exist??

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

This is probably very late in the day but can’t let this go. You are not a weirdo and do not have to change anything except lightbulbs. And pants.

Some guy is talking over this, but it’s from Battle of the Network Stars in 1979.

You’ve pissed off both the horse people and the arrow people. Ask Custer what happens next.

He’s trying to be Perfect.

The Rock’s professional reputation is actually why I automatically crossed Kurt Russell off the list of suspects: The Rock is developing a reboot of Big Trouble in Little China. I cannot believe he would risk pissing Russell off or even just insulting him when that project is still in the works. And not just to remain…

Is it wrong for me to say that I had (have?) a crush on Dana Delany?

I’d like to think that Kurt Russell is just a front. The ‘real’ Kurt is actually Jack Burton from ‘Big Trouble in Little China’, and Kurt is just a character.

Is this what they mean when they say that on field chemistry is so important in the NFL?

I’ve taken to just eating what ever bugs are within arms reach and fistfuls of my own hair.

It’s pretty easily the best strip ever and one of the great achievements in all of American culture. Check out the ones from the ‘50s and ‘60s some time.

Bidding war: I’ll do it for free.

Dear Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office,