“Sacre bleu!”

I’ve been reading all the older stories and creeping myself out, so I know my story can’t really compete. But it’s my story, and it’s true, so I’ll share it.

If dogs are so dumb, how does my Lucy always know which pieces of turkey are for her and which are for my sandwich? You can’t explain that.

I did the same thing by accident many years ago. Important culinary tip - when baking in extended 100 degree weather, put your chocolate chips in the fridge for a few hours before mixing them in. 

I never put the names together before, but it occurs to me that if Laurie Strode had been Woody Strode’s daughter, Michael Myers would’ve been dead inside of ten minutes, and not terrorized people through God knows how many films.

I really don’t understand how this keeps happening. I know that these racist shitheads can’t stop being racist shitheads because that’s hard and because they frankly don’t want to stop. I also know that these racist shitheads can’t stop displaying their racist shitheadedness online, because they want other racist…

I worked with a guy like that. He’d lie about all the women he was boning, even though his wife worked in admin and was the only reason he hadn’t been fired long ago. He actually left for a different job, which made my supervisor very happy. Got fired from that job, supervisor was forced to re-hire him, and he told us…

I grew up in a Hydrox family. Well, my mother was Hydrox. My father was cookie-agnostic. I was loyal to Hydrox right up into adulthood. They just tasted better than Oreos, as any fool could plainly see. Taste.

If you don’t have an instant pot, check with your local library. The trend for a “Library Of Things” has been going on for years now, and my library just added two instant pots to the collection, along with camping tents, board games, ukeleles, metal detectors, air fryers and God knows what else.

I assume Senator Marble is in favor of legalizing everything that people insist on doing despite there being laws prohibiting it. Drugs, murder, ripping the labels off mattresses, none of it’s worth legislating against unless it stops 100% of the undesirable behavior.

My grandfather was into genealogy and had convincing proof that some distant ancestor was Native American, but when his sister got a DNA test a few years back there was no sign of it at all. I assume the ancestor was one of the original “Sure I’m Native” bullshitters. That side of the family does have a few percentage…

Goddammit. Last I heard of him it was just himself he was hurting and I was hoping he would pull himself out of the hole. If he’s hurting others, to hell with him.

He does kinda look like George Takei.

“Would you like a Walnetto?”

I hate you because I should have thought of it first.

I have no intention of watching, but this makes it a near thing. I always liked Lionel Richie. I know nothing about him, but he seems like a good guy.

The fact that The Middleman didn’t last more than a season is absolute proof that we don’t deserve nice things.

We have to wait and see what color the shooter is. Anything over slightly tanned, it’s terrorism. Paler than that and it’s just the inevitable consequence of living in a free society, and certainly not the right time to talk about gun control.

Bird was better, but also much uglier.

That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.