As best I can tell, some people hate her because she showed part of her boobs and others hate her because she’s never shown all of them.

Win Sasuke and then move over to ANW. Boom, problem solved.

Watching Busy in the front row reacting to the best picture screw up was the best part of the Oscars. She looked like someone had just started shooting hostages.

You do what you want, but neither Sasuke nor Iron Chef have $1 million dollar prizes or Jessie Graff. And as best I can tell, ANW is harder than Sasuke, though I’ll never know because I wouldn’t even get as far as the octopus guy. I might do as well as the guy who makes the cool models.

The best reality show to win has to be American Ninja Warrior. You get a cool million bucks and are instantly certified as one of the most physically capable people on the planet. To top it off, your opponents are all genuinely supportive instead of trying to screw you over, and you might just get the chance to chat…

It’d take a lot more than a naked dude’s shortcomings to rattle David Niven.

Wait, is that a thing? I thought only our dog Lucy’s paws smelled like Fritos. You mean she’s not unique?

I’m pretty sure Simone Biles has taught herself to hover so she’ll never again look quite as wee as she did standing next to Shaq.

Is there a reason states can’t manufacture their own damned death-drugs? Or that some canny entrepreneur can’t start up a new pharmaceutical company that’s all death-drugs, all the time? This has Martin Shreli written all over it. I thought the free market was supposed to handle this sort of shit.

“Kylie Jenner’s new eye shadow...?”

Okay, but the important question is, was it a new or a used bike? I can’t possibly make sense of your story until you tell me.

Rosebud was his sled.

Well, Tahani raised billions for charity but ended up in The Bad Place, so yes. Motivation does matter. I trust Ted Danson on this and very thing else.

First thing I think of when I hear “Kylie” is the Mister Mister song.

I’m okay with this in theory. I hope it works out, but the cynic in me doesn’t believe it will. Worth a shot, though.

Hearts and minds. They’ll greet us as liberators.

Otisburg?!

I always assumed it was either “Safe!” or “The fish was this big!”

I’ll always remember him as the slimy weasel in Deepstar Six, aka that movie where if BJ had just brought The Bear along shit would’ve gotten straightened out much quicker and poor Nia Peeples wouldn’t have died.

It looks funny, but all I can think about is how her character should just kill herself now to save innocent people from her unintentional rampages, and to save herself from the torture and mind control she will be subjected to as soon as anyone with power figures out that she’s the one controlling an apparently…