I love skincare, but I think it’s time for more of us to admit that most of this shit is a matter of something even more out of our control than finances or diet: genetics. Fucking genetics.

Game of Thrones book readers are THE WORST. As early as season 1 and 2, there were nonstop murmurs about the Red Wedding which they insisted weren’t spoilers but were absolutely spoilers to anyone with half a brain. I was utterly gleeful when season 6 rolled around and they were just as in the dark as the rest of us. 

In 2011, I started watching Game of Thrones, and I’m on the fourth episode when I’m talking to someone about it, and they say, “You know Ned get his head chopped off, right?”

Wait, what? If the designer asked me, I would say “YES, crossbody strap it up! I need and want a crossbody strap.” First of all, the straps have never bothered my bosom (which is ample). Second, the other options suck. Do I carry the strap on my sloping shoulder and it constantly slides off and I have to grab the bag…

“How many Twitter followers did he have?  I’l bet I have two or three times as many!”

I’m just stuck on the floor boards and building it for less. Like...it’s hundreds of years old.

I’m honestly astounded that this isn’t satire.

But then this nightmare will be over!

Just try not to trample any flowers, knock over any rock piles, or carve your name into anything while your out there ffs.

I was briefly trapped in my home town during the recent flooding in Nebraska. I told my dad (who is great) I was going to to take a shower so I didn’t smell if we had to evacuate, and he was like “Yeah, there might be some cute National Guard guys for you!” Good lookin’ out, Dad. :)

And fix yourself up a little, you might meet someone

Nice try, mom

Until you get eaten by a bear.

I was born.

When I was about 6ish/ 7 ( I am an old) I was allowed to take my birthday money and go to the college record store to buy a record. The college kids kind of steered me to a record with a picture of Queen Elizabeth on the cover instead of the Little Red Hen, and I liked the tiara so I unknowingly bought a Sex Pistols…

Are you ok after that ridiculous reach?

There are millions of us!

I’ll admit, up front, that I take this one pretty personally. My family has spent the last two years trying to recover from an actual violent hate crime, which my husband barely (and I mean barely) survived. It still affects him, mentally and physically, on a daily basis. There are still more surgeries left ahead of us…

I’ve never been more grateful to not care about Empire.

One could argue that legitimate victims of hate crimes are harmed by this because it decreases the chances people will believe their accusations.