God I love Lil Nas X. So good. 

This is... where we are. This is where we are.

From my good friend this morning, “Andrew gets the Corgis because he has the most experience at grooming.”.

The cheek of you bloody colonials. Barbarians, the lot of you. In fact, the dogs shall be fed to the Tower Ravens, as is completely rational and merciful, and such that the good lads may contribute to the sustenance of the birds and thereby to the protection of the Monarchy. When will you Americans grow up and start…

I believe this whole story...especially the part where Pitt says: “No, mommy’s not OK. She’s ruining this family. She’s crazy.”

I should preface the rest of this by saying that I haven’t historically felt strongly about celebrities who aren’t Taylor Swift.

How much did Kris pay you for this?

“Why Am I Still Shaken by Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson’s Breakup?”

Whelp! I’m can never again glook at Gaetz and see anyone but Butthead.

Uh, no, you are wrong and your hate is pointless since a soul doesn't enter a body until first breath just like a soul leaves at last breath.  Why else would GOD create all those miscarriages involving damaged fetuses?  More miscarriages every year than abortions.  Get a clue dude.....

you don’t know any women do you?

Shut..the entire..fuck up.

1 in 50  pregnancies are ectopic. (per the March of Dimes) We know that in Ohio alone at least 52 girls under 14 are raped and impregnated. None of these are rare enough to support your thesis.

Not Ace Ventura, Butt-Head (with a very apt Jim Jordan Beavis as well).

The entire visit to Eddie’s house is still one of the funniest ten minutes on film.

I hope this means she’s doing some very necessary self-reflection and change but I think the most likely explanation is she realized she needs to play nice because she needs the work.

Selena Gomez: Best comic timing since Jennifer Aniston.

Bridges: (Putting this moron in a corner with a closed question) “Do you believe that men can get pregnant?”

TRANSCRIPTION (with embellishments)

“Nobody goes there any more. It’s too crowded.”