I was raised on Federal land in SoCal, where everything but human beings was a “protected species.” I could take the head off a Rattler in fourth grade. (It’s a life skill.) My Maine Coon chased coyotes and brought home rabbits he hunted, amongst other creatures.

I actually debated throwing you off with another Gary, but he seemed like an important one. His tweets would be all “meow” and everyone would say “you’re right, President Gary!”

Spongebob’s pet snail Gary would be better as well

lol that’s awesome. Polar bears are my favorite animal. I would be chill with death by polar bear.

Holy shit, I live in Thousand Oaks and I can’t say as I expected to see us show up on the news because of THIS!

Thank you to everyone, including the haters,

“No, it’s Hydra. Hi-drah.”

You know what, I am going to one day move to the fucking taiga, where nature is too fucking cold so that I don’t have to deal with this kind of shit. I like the snow, I like the cold, and I’m a lot more chill with the possibility of running into, idk a reindeer or polar bear than a FUCKING REPTILE. FUCK REPTILES.

GOOD.

I just want Billie Lourd to be happy.

I hate the CBS show Life In Pieces with a passion!

I gotta say, I’m kinda, sorta in lurve with Amber Rose. Even as a dude, I can appreciate the brilliance (and need) for the Slutwalk. She seems utterly fearless and super confident. In a world with “celebrities” who are famous because.............(?) Amber seems to use her position for good stuff. She seems super sweet…

This is dumb and shallow and self-absorbed and I’ve been day-drinking a wee bit so bear with me. But this makes me so sad.

Well there’s Toby he has a chemistry set and Steve knows where the office supplies are. We’re gonna give them a TI-30 calculator and a buttload of Mountain Dew so they should figure this out in no time.  

Ridiculous. Obviously, Sagan’s elbow flicks out after Cavendish has already hit Sagan and it’s reflexive, not aggression.

How about both Jay-Z and Kanye die in a Tidal accident and Beyonce raises the kids alone without having to deal with these two jackasses trying to claim her.

He doesn’t care about anyone but himself, the only reason he did it, is to attract attention to him after his last clusterfuck of twitts. Because he knows, people would eat that story up.

What pisses me off most about President Dipshit inserting himself in this story is that per his proposed healthcare reform, the children suffering like that here at home would be left to die while their parents are saddled with a copious amount of medical debt.

yup yup yup