I have no idea, but if ever there was a moment, in honor of the late George Michael, this IS the moment, and this IS the Superman for the job.

I want to see that butt in a reproduction of George Michael’s “Faith” video. I am willing to pay.

But whatever will Tom do now that he broke his ankle, which, by Scientology definition is a signal that he is a Potential Trouble Source? Could this butt cheek conspiracy have anything to do with it? Is the fake butt coming back to bite him the ass? What else could he possibly be hiding?

He sent it. He’s gotta own it. And if I had seen it I would tell the dude good job, and you fucked up tremendously but screwing up with Elin. For FUCKS sake, where are you going to find a more perfect woman? Jeezus dude, you screwed every pooch on the planet.

I can honestly say I have never agreed with anything on an eclipse day more. Drag Ross all you want, but Joey was never Rachael’s lobster.

Yes. Cause the couldn’t get anyone else. There needs to be a new word for desperate.

He is on record saying he could make money by running for president. No one ever asked him how much he could make if he WAS president. He is bleaching money faster than global warming is bleaching the coral reefs.

Went to my aunt’s farm ~30 miles north of totality. No traffic. Awesome afternoon drinking wine with 3 other gals, talking, looking periodically at the eclipse and wearing the right glasses while doing it.

Great, but more useful BEFORE the event so we would save them. Hours later it a bit too late.

This might have been more useful before the eclipse. My families glasses are in a dumpster 10 miles away after it was all over.

And yet he still somehow seems to sully the good name of morons.

Dumb as a box of rocks. Prove me wrong. I dare you (keeping in mind that you have to dig out of a GIGANTIC hole - yes, I am counting the idiotic things he has already done). I look forward to your responses.

People are saying....

I laughed. I scared the cat. This is some good kinja.

Agreed. So girl, change it up. No one cares. Long, short, bob, braids - just move on!

And change your damn hair! This high pony business is gettin WAY old. Get some goddamn extensions and do something different. My scalp hurts just looking at you.

I always thought Zoe was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen (after Rihanna). Yes, I have a type. Big Little Lies sealed it (but Rihanna and her decolletage still win).

He’s showing you the size of his micro penis. And he is usually mid-seizure and his tiny thumb muscles (because he has TINY thumbs) retracts first out of muscle memory because that is how he jacks off.

ANUSTART inspired me.

Agreed. But... Jared has to live in a broom closet in the EAST wing, and he has to be naked 24/7 except for the skinny tie, which will be replaced by a piano key tie.