Can the Obama’s help me with the giant freaking zit that appeared on my chin? I mean really, I am 48 and have a fucking planet growing on my face. I get the occasional annonying zit, but christ on a cracker, what the fuck is this? Even Mr. Penguin commented, and with his brain injury he doesn’t notice when I paint…

Good. Just looking out for you (as someone who is now selling their house and has a wood floor problem after I moved the rug by the sliding glass door and can clearly see the effects).

From one Penguin to another: It only gets better! My Jr. Penguin is 18 and we have extensive discussions regarding politics, social issues, etc. When we raise them right we reap the rewards!

Briliant idea, but be careful of sun bleaching. Make sure your window coverings protect your awesome collection.

Been there, done that. I don’t have the close family history you have, but I did have an abnormality that resulted in said ultrasound then a biopsy. I was fortunate that mine turned out to be ‘normal fibrocystic” breast changes.

He’s still pissed a girl beat him in the 50 yd. dash at field day in 5th grade. I was that girl. And he can fuck off.

Oh, honey.

I love that he thinks “I’m out of town” is a good defense and then deflects to his then wife. Was he practicing for his current position?

This is goddamn good Kinja. Bravo!

I’m working it for you Brendan. I saw the post the other day and I’m doing what I can.

Fuckin’ Ricketts. I have a family member who has direct access to Gov Pete of NE and has been to many social occasions with him (her husband is a long time friend of his). He is an unmitigated asshole and she avoids any conversation with him if at all possible.

I am with you. Granted, I was a teenager in the 80's and my first sexual experiences were with a man who had no idea that he should tend to any grooming regimine (nor did I - a bikini wax was 15 years beyond this time to my mid-west town). Long live the chest hair, the leg hair and the bush - man or woman. Let your…

Bobby, my love for you is neverending, but I hate all of this column. I get you are beholden by what is dealt to you on any given gossip day, but this is close to the nadir.

That’s a different question. Perhaps I wasn’t as precise as I needed to be in my wording. Technically he can delete the tweet, that is a function of the app and how it works. The real question is SHOULD he be allowed to delete them. I think an congressional investigation should be initiated to determine the exact…

But they will never go away. Each and every tweet he sends out is retained by someone, somewhere. The internet is a nasty place - you can’t make things go away, especially when you are the president and millions are looking at every single character that is tweeted out of his purulent, festering, orange being. My…

2 things: One, I think he is in violation of the presidential retention rules (forgive me, I’m not a presidential scholar, but I seem to recall that that is a thing, regardless of which account he uses - he’s using it for political purposes, so by definition it should be lawfully retained). Two, I don’t think it…

He can’t delete the tweet. It is a matter of public record that by law must be retained. And it WILL come back to him. And I for one can’t wait.

There is no god. We (and when I say “we” I don’t mean myself, but the collective “people”) did this. There is no scenario where this ends well. Ask mid 20th century Germany how it worked out for them.

Well OK then. Consider me schooled.

Damn, MOM! You always ruin EVERYTHING!