I got your back. They are still a little pricey, but they wear like iron (I have had mine for 3 years and they show no wear at all - and I’m on them all the damn time) and your back and feet will thank you every single day.

Mr. Penguin and I are building a new house. They presented crazy expensive options for mirrors in the bathrooms. I asked if I could bring my own mirrors (picture frame type) and if they would mount them. SCORE!! Saved a bundle. HomeGoods Rules.

Holy fuck. How old am I? And where would a late 40's, mother, wife to a disabled person find out about these bands (I assume they are bands, a few of them sound like new antibiotics).

Available at Bed, Bath and Beyond (with a 20% off coupon, obvs). Worth every damn penny. Various sizes (I myself have a runner along my long island, plus a doormat size one for the spot in front of my stove. Get ye to BBB, post haste! (BTW - sign up for the BBB email list and you get them in the mail all the time -…

Thank you! And this picture simultaneously makes me think of my grandfather wearing these, and if this individual is retaining fluids and/or swelling because of blood clots.

I laughed out loud and disturbed my cat with the garters comment. Thank you. I needed that.

Was his name Tucker?

Marry me.

Welp. My mother is clearly defective. She once ran us out of a car (literally - my dad stopped the car and we all bailed (dad, brother, me) Windows open didn’t cut it. The sound was funny, the aftermath horrific in the best possible way. We all got back in the car after the sulfur cloud cleared, agreed that she…

And this is why penguins are the most GLORIOUS animal. We stink, we fear no humans, and the dudes do at least half the work.

So you are saying he is the Polish equivalent of Rush? Good to know. Added to my “nothing to see here” list.

Farts are always funny. And my farts always smell worse than Mr. Penguin. So we are superior!

You beat me to it. All the stars.

At least the mouse isn’t out of the house.

Does Donald not know how to wear a baseball hat? If my husband (who wears a hat daily cause of the enormous scar on his head due to brain surgery) can manage to wear a hat without looking like an idiot, perhaps he should be president (brain damage and all). He looks fucking ridiculous. Pulls the bill down WAY too…

I went to college and graduated. But I have had an abortion. Is heaven still a possibilty? I have also had many orgasms. I am confused as to my final resting place.

I have a hypothetical question: If there is supposed to be a hard line between church and state, can I accept a GOVERNMENT voucher to a catholic school,and opt out of the catholic part?

Never. Haven’t you heard? Trump is going to gut that program.

Bobby - I love YOU, and I will never let you go.

I want to slurp up Dev Patel with a straw. He is SO smooth. And loves his mom.