I'll pay extra for an ear-licking!

Not to say I wouldn't tip, but if a server did that I'd probably break a bone or something. Eeeyaaagggghhhh you just triggered a half dozen neuroses.

You do realize I get paid to write on the internet, right? Like...this is my job? They pay me for this? It's AWESOME, thanks. But lol, have fun being a horrible human being and eventually dying unloved and alone, your last breath a desperate cry for someone, anyone to care about you. Lemme know how that works out for…

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.

you're a swine. Until you behave like a human, you aren't allowed to participate in civil society. Don't go to restaurants if you're going to rob (and that's what it is) the staff.

You forgot to capitalize "pussy."

Your use of a slur shows a complete lack of character.

I'm a VIP. I shouldn't have to.

Notice that the author, you know, writes for a living now so he doesn't have to deal with walking piles of watery diarrhea like yourself anymore as customers.

Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about please?

Not that I'm gonna believe that you happen to be that actual customer without a huge fucking grain of salt and a lot of side-eye, but if you were (and are colossally lame enough to not only admit it, but revel in it) the fact that you think that "a rsvp" is the same thing as a reservation makes you the "retarded" one…

There's so much to love about your comment, but this is my favorite part:

So how many times a day do you go off on a stranger when you don't get the exact thing you want? How many people a day do you call "retarded"? Because even when you describe your side of it, there is still absolutely no way your reaction - or not tipping this girl's COWORKER - is warranted.

I didn't know you were BFFs with Guy Fieri!

lol this guy made an effort to find out who is talking about what an asshole he is so he can tell them how wrong they are about how much they think he's an asshole.

No kidding, friend!

Congrats on proving the author absolutely correct. You are a rather nasty piece of work, aren't you?

I'm so glad you came here to elaborate and clarify your side of the story, because now that you've done so we can all rest easy knowing that you're a shitty crybaby asshole instead of just speculating that you are. Thanks for the peace of mind.

See the pending comments... apparently already here.

Oh my god I am dying for this wretch of a human to come screeching into the comments.