I kind of like airports when I have the time to explore.

I firmly believe that having to fly on a plane, no matter how briefly, should allow you several days of complaining about how awful it was and how much it took out of you. Breakdowns are all part of the process of air travel.

I need him to simply NOT.

My downstairs neighbor is my aunt’s best friend, and my aunt lives about ten miles away, and I am *still* convinced that this is a very strong possibility. I would probably only be found after the cats’ litterbox becomes so overwhelmingly shitastic that he bitches about the stench to her until she or the landlord…

Actually, according to that one NYC coroner type person that wrote a book, a cat will totally eat your body. But a dog will just lay there starving with you...

A dog would not do that. It would lay with you hoping you woke back up. He or she would probably starve. Not much better, huh?

I only speak to my parents on holidays (childhood trauma as well) out of respect for my older sister. They would never check up on me, the only reason they know I’m still alive is because my sister hasn’t called them to inform them if the case was otherwise.

Kids too. My mom was visiting a place she’d just bought. I tried to call her but she wasn’t answering. She always answers her phone .Always.

Every time I choke on an ice cube, this thought flashes before my eyes. Good thing my dog is a barker and would likely alert the entire neighborhood when she got hungry.

Do you have any neighbors nearby? I try and make friends with the neighbors wherever I live, and this is one of the reasons why!

Dogs bark for help and cuddle til it arrives because they see us as their masters. Cats see us as their servants. Hence, the face-eating.

Get some cats so at least they’ll eat your face off first

Dogs won’t eat you. I had a foster who, along with 5 other dogs, was alone with the body of their owner for 2 solid weeks prior to discovery.

I fear becoming an undiscovered death, too. And it would take longer for anyone to find me than it took for Chyna (geez, poor Chyna).

Did I mention this happened while she was at college two hours away from home? Over weekdays?

I imagine this kind of life for myself. One day, when I am no longer a dependent.

I couldn’t have. Equal opportunity objectification for all!

It really is quite delightful. My brain got all twisted up just reading it!

This is the reason I don’t have a cat. I don’t want my face eaten.

Same. I want this one to be true so badly. Suri deserves a good step-dad.