Fuck off and die, Bill. Hahaaaaaaaaa

TRUTH

I know I’m terrible, but

Just ugh. Make it stop already.

Okay, so if you are the parent of a 9 year old who has disposable income to spend on things advertised by people they follow on social media, you are the weakest link.

I was scanning the comments to see if anyone wrote this before I did. Bravo!!

Agreed. If you don’t realize by now that every single Kardashian/Jenner post is sponsored, maybe you are the weakest link.

I have a kid. I am also a really busy upper level employee of a well known company and I work shit tons of hours. I just need someone to say that they understand instead of trying to outdo me.

My friends think they own the market on being tired. I can't say I'm tired or sleepy without someone telling me that they are more tired or more sleepy than I am.

I don't know what this means but I'm thinking it is a hybrid Twitter and kinja thing? Honored to be invited :)

Of course nobody likes it. But dudes are sometimes misguided and think we care about their dicks as much as they do. Meanwhile, the word hasn’t really gotten out that we prefer smart, thoughtful, sexy people who have jobs and don’t send pics of their dicks to everyone from their mom’s basement while playing World of…

You're a youth corrupter. Stay away from Sasha. (Also, I think you have a better chance of meeting Malia).

I need Bette to adopt me. Sure, I’m over 40. Sure, she hasn’t answered any of my letters or emails or tweets or texts or phone calls please help me I just realized I’m a stalker

Like not a single person. Even if you are in the habit of sending dick pics to your SO and they like it, don’t do it unless upon requests. #awkwardworkmeetingwhenthepersonnexttoyoulooksatyourphone

This is good kinja.

Or maybe just don't send dick pics. Period.

“Irving used ventriloquism and family collusion to perpetuate the hoax.”

Someone help me out here. What is it about the word mongoose that makes me so uncomfortable? Not quite moist, but more than foam or phlegm.

I can't decide if I like Hermione-punching-Draco-in-the-face style or Hermione-being-smarter-than-everyone-in-the-room-and-not-giving-af style better. Either way.

Is that like Hermione style? Because I think it was Hermione style.