It’s not like it’s hard (teehee) to get an erection. Hell, sometimes it just happens for no reason, and it’s annoying.

I have a good friend who I love to pieces, but who cannot stop talking about her BDSM sex life and it makes me want to saw my goddamn ears off. I have no idea how to make her stop. It makes me feel like such a prune-faced, pursed-mouthed prude, and I hate that. I want her to be happy. I want everyone to follow their…

Cinnamon sprinkled turgid dong Donald Trump...

EXACT SAME. As with most things in life I don't really want to hear about it unless it's gross or funny soooooooo

Seriously it’s just like one of the things I DONT care to know about.

Noted turgid dong and presidential candidate Donald Trump...

Measure me, no problem.

Someone needs to take her phone away. Kirstie Alley’s as well.

Don’t those have sharp edges? Like sharp enough you get papercuts from them if you’re not careful? A turgid dong seems like a very unpleasant to get a paper cut.

The specially designed tape, which measures circumference and not length, will be handed out free of charge at the clinic from Tuesday.

Something about American flags...

She needs to stop tweeting ‘til the ‘ludes wear off.

your name though <3 <3 <3

“I have all the liquor and things you need to totally relax and have a great time (and I can have a great time, too)“. It is sick.

At that point, I’d just hit ‘im with the “how is babby formed?” meme.

I know you were kidding but I know two single, wealthy, STEM dudes and neither of them can find a date. Big Bang Theory is really a documentary. I married Leonard.

I would totally date a nerd

Ignore the bad ones. Though if like 90% of them are like that, it would get tiresome really quickly.

I am 29, and Tinder is dumb for me too. Tinder is amazing if you like neck beards, fedoras, and dudes who are really really into magic.