And then they fight corrupt oil barons and Mexican gangsters.

Yeah, getting face-masked sucks

Well,

“At the same time, she remains perplexed why the trucks were seized in such an aggressive fashion and with such shaky evidence to begin with.”

Those of us who routinely engage in armored combat with broadswords affectionately refer to horned helmets as “Party Hats”. Anything that acts to actually *guide* the edge of an opponents sword into the side of your head cannot be a good thing...

I am remiss to inform Jewel that she needs a dictionary.

It’s the brand my Grandmother smoked & she was very Lange. But, yeah, Parliament is Funktastic!

Parliament. Nice.

I can’t tell if they’re all boring af or if it’s just the cranky? Someone told me today that the cranky was coming from Mercury being in retrograde. I stabbed her with a thermometer.

Just my gut talking here, but isn’t Jewel’s use of remiss incorrect? I always thought it meant sort of negligent and it doesn’t seem to fit that sentence in that case. Of course, I left school about a million years ago, so I’m probably wrong.

I really hate everyone’s dumb tweets. Today’s a cranky day.

Bless her heart, in the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful.

Xena!!!!!!!!!

You may need to get your eyes checked. If your animal does not exude a physics defying amount of pyrazines, it may not be a dog, but vice a cat masquerading as a dog.

I pretended to be straight for 20 years. Does that count?

Who did you think I Kissed A Girl was about?

This is a Bristol Blenheim:

Porsche suppository...