Old man warning...


That looks like a lot of pho king sodium.  

TBH, since I’ve been cooking, I’ve only bought/used unsalted. Virtually every recipe I’ve ever used calls for unsalted, and every chef/cooking instructor I’ve talked to about it says to use unsalted. It comes down to control over the salt level in your food. There is no ‘standard’ salt quantity for salted butter, so…

We saved the topper of our wedding cake to eat on our first year anniversary. We are luckily still together, no thanks to the cake, which literally tasted like every gross thing that had ever been inside the freezer. I can’t even describe how gross it was. Do yourself a favor and eat your leftover cake the next day.

Is this the same principle that somehow renders Millennials unable to select an avocado without crushing 8 others in the process?

Why stop there? Maybe put some blades in it or poison or something.

But our sudden preoccupation with plastics straws and ocean waste has me thinking: Wait, HUH?? What is happening?

It’s time for more Terrible Startup Ideas with Rosin!

I repeat that aphorism to my staff at least once a week. 

One of my favorite sayings is “don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” It’s just childish to say “mine’s best” and try to take away the enjoyment someone else has in a food you don’t like. 

It means the soda made from dogs is served hot.

Yo, no soy. 

i think a lot of assholes confuse colloquiums and misc phrases for as some excuse to shitpost

but pro-tip:  you just wind up looking like a “well actually”  dick bag

I for one loved the show as opposed to the American version of the show. The way the bakers appeared to really enjoy each other’s company, helped and pulled for each other. It just doesn’t feel the same with the new crew.

I used to be that dope who’d occasionally pay for the person behind me in the Starbucks drive through line. One day, I realized the Mercedes-driving soccer mom didn’t need my money as much as the kids working the window.

Julia Roberts can spend the rest of her life posting photos of herself wearing t-shirts with messages on them, but they only make me remember the OG t-shirt:

His shtick is the same as the Onion that reposts the same article word for word for every shooting, because it highlights the complete absurdity of the same tragedy happening over and over and over while the powers that be do fuck all. But you, of course, think *he*’s the problem.

John’s Boner is arguing with Uncle Milty’s Cock. What a time to be alive 

The same Republicans who claimed that they only voted for Trump for the SCOTUS seat can now rejoice knowing that whatever children of unwanted pregnancies they “saved” can now be the targets of mass shootings.

This is the natural conclusion to a society that tells you to look after yourself or suffer the consequences. We may worship “first responders” because they put others before themselves but it’s ultimately superficial.