Yeah, you guys won't be laughing when you go to Target to try on this swimsuit and it makes part of your crotch disappear.

Ahh, yes. My ex-boyfriend was thin and looked great in clothes. But naked, he sort of resembled a droopy stick figure. His butt was bizarrely flat without any muscle or fat in it, so touching it was like grabbing at pudding. When he ate a large meal, it gave him a potbelly until it was properly digested so you could…

I'm right there with you. I wanted to LOVE this show.

Am I the only one here that wants to desperately love this show but can't? The show is so ridiculous sometimes and not a lot of character development happens with anyone other than Mindy.

Hodor (Game of Hodors)

My parents eat balut, when I was a kid they'd give me the yolk because I was too terrified to eat the rest of it. One year, they saved three of them to have them nest on top of the cable box. So I had three chicks as pets for a little while from the two dozen fetuses my parents ate.

In cooking school we made a meat-and-vegetable layered aspic, for the techniques and stuff.

Actual footage of me when the local Chipotle ran out of guac:

THIS PORTENDS THE END TIMES.

From here on out, whenever I see Jay-Z rapping and grabbing his crotch, I will imagine an eggplant in there.

My first job was at a grocery store; I understand how WIC works. I have no beef with any child being given access to cheese, milk, non-sugar cereals, oatmeal, eggs, and/or age-appropriate baby foods and formulas.

Anybody who does needs to re-examine their world philosophies, or possibly educate themselves. WIC is a…

This one time, when I waited in line in the check-out at Whole Foods (checking my iPhone 7.3), I saw a mother with WIC vouchers buy like ... six containers of formula and then drive off in a car.

I was so distressed that I accidentally chipped my French manicure re-adjusting my Lululemon pants.

Welfare people, you…

UBERTROUT HATES THE WAY AMERICA IS RUN. HE WANTS TO PUT A KITCHENETTE IN THE OVAL OFFICE. HE THINKS OBAMA SHOULD WRITE ALL HIS PRESIDENTIAL WRITINGS DOWN BY CARVING THEM INTO THE SIDE OF A PUMPKIN.

It is really seriously good. In fact, start your beets this way every time and every beet dish you make from then on will taste amazing.

I fucking LOVE that line.

That is definitely the best part. I had to choke down a laugh because it was something my grandmother would say. I think she actually has asked for her hot food to be put on a cold place before because she didn't want to burn herself.

We visited an Eataly in Chicago last December. I'm pretty sure part of my soul is still there, face pressed against the glass.