I try not to listen to anyone who's job description entails major neurological trauma.

So what you’re saying...

Dumb totally-invented ideas about aliens? You gotta call History Channel, not Fox News.
It also helps a lot if you dress as a redneck.

This piece doesn’t paint a fair picture. Read the Wired article. Other people were transferring large sums to her, and she was then withdrawing $9500 at a time to send to her “boyfriend.” This wasn’t just a case of her being taken for her own money.

In the Army, one time, I took a break from a ruck march. I popped off my kevlar helmet (it was HOT) and leaned back against a tree.

Have I told this story before, Pinkham? The one where I was serving at a restaurant that sat on a wharf, overlooking a popular surf spot? And that one time, a group of customers called me over to ask whether someone trained the seals (sea lions) to do that thing they were doing, or whether they just naturally did it?…

That’s why I feel bad for her. It’s like, “Oh, buddy, that must suck.” That fear of the unknown cripples people, breeds hate, and it’s just very sad.

Out of habit more than anything, my family would put out a miniature Nativity set decorated by my Grandpa. Usually on a side table or the piano. I made my own addition one year, a certain spring-loaded suction cup novelty held back from Halloween. My parents woke up the next morning to see the Holy Ghost bobbing…

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

sooo this isn’t actually my story, it’s my boyfriend’s - but it’s a great one. See, my boyfriend is half-lapsed-Jewish, half-lapsed-Irish-Catholic, and after the incident I’m about to explain, he ended up being raised as neither.

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.

Every MRA to woman clearly out of his league:

One time my friend and I were at a sandwich shop and the guy is making her sandwich, asking what toppings she wants, etc. and he asks her why she isn’t smiling. And she coolly says “I’m not hungry anymore. You can throw my sandwich away.” She had all the ovaries that day.

Wrong India, Columbus.

1. What kind of self-respecting member of the LGBTQ community would have Chris Brown perform in the first place?! Seriously though. Wtf. Shame.

It really is amazing how America demonizes people it has stolen from or wronged as a problem, rather than a reaction to countless aggressions.

I KNOW.

I know kids are picky but I would be so humiliated if I ever said “MY CHILD DOESNT EAT GREEN FOOD!” that loudly in public.

My family moved to a new town and I had a first day of school in kindergarten. I got seated next to kid I would realize was forever covered in cheetodust. That’s not thisstory.